How to Write a Love Letter (to your future husband)

My small hand reached across the dollar-store’s shelf. I don’t know if it was the roses or swirly script that caught my eye first. But there it was, a notebook covered in fancy, antique designs. My nine year old heart craved this book. After all, a romantic-looking notebook would be necessary for journaling about crushes, wedding dress designs, and ultimately, my True Love.

Little did I know that this notebook would change my life.

With exactly a dollar and eight cents, I acquired my prize. Soon after, the novelty of owning such a “romantic” notebook wore off. And frankly, I didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t have a “love life” to write about. So, the notebook lay unused under my bed.

About four or five years later, I was listening to a college student talk about “saving herself” for her future husband. She mentioned writing love letters to her future husband. She said it was a great way to pray for him, and that it helped her to save her virginity and physical affections for marriage.

I pulled my “romantic” journal out from under my bed. Perfect, I thought. And I began to write letters to my future husband. They weren’t profound or long; sometimes only an “I was thinking about you today,” or, “Just want to say that I love you.”

My life changed. Instead of thinking of my husband as a futuristic dream, I began to see him as a real person. A living, breathing man whom I would marry. If I would be tempted by impure thoughts, I would whip out the journal. I would jot a quick note to him, apologizing for my failures, or telling of my triumphs. On August 10, 2013, I handed this notebook to my new husband. He handed me a pack of letters in return. We both were overwhelmed with the love captured in those letters written days, months, and years before our marriage.

It was super easy, as a young teen, to be swept away in fairy-tale fantasies and crushes. Society, movies, and music equate love with sex, and make a lifetime of breakups and broken hearts seem “normal.” But writing love letters to my husband grounded me in reality. Each moment that I scribbled a note, my future husband was out there–a real man, who I would marry and raise a family with.

You Can Write Love Letters to Your Future Spouse, Too!

  • Give yourself a second chance—We all make mistakes and mess up. Even if you’ve given yourself in impure ways, it’s never too late to start writing to your husband. Writing to him can motivate you to embrace purity in a whole new way!
  • Get creative—You don’t even need a notebook. You can stick all of your letters in a folder. Or you can put little love notes in a jar. Whatever works best for you, figure it out and go with it!
  • Don’t get discouraged—Sometimes, I would be tempted to stop writing letters all together, since I wouldn’t write for weeks or months at a time. It’s pathetic, I would think. I have so few. Don’t let that stop you! Your future spouse will love you and appreciate any number of letters that you write to him/her. Just keep writing!
  • Write about anything—Tell him/her about your dreams, hopes, what you’re excited for in marriage, what prayers you’ve been praying for him/her (for example, “I said a prayer for you while washing dishes today”).
  • It doesn’t end with marriage—Once you’re married, you can keep secretly writing love letters to your spouse. Whether you hide them around the house or give them directly to your spouse, he/she will love them. One morning, my husband left for an out-of-state trip extremely early. When I woke up later, I found that he had taped love notes all over our apartment! Small gestures like that are wonderful ways to show your love.

Above all, it’s good to ask yourself: “How can I best love my future spouse?”

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Assisi (18)Anne Marie Miller studies Theology and English at Franciscan University of Steubenville. She has a passion for the Catholic Faith, chastity, and St. Francis of Assisi, and frolicking around barefoot. In August 2013, she was blessed to marry her incredible husband, and the two of them enjoy the epic adventures of married college life. When she’s not doing homework, housework, cooking, or playing chess, AnneMarie reflects on her random observations on her blog, Sacrifice of Love. (http://marianninja.blogspot.com)

 

 

29 Comments

  1. Encouraging post! ^__^

    I shall definitely resume writing in my diary again, and yes, get creative.

    Thank you so much 🙂

    By Renita | 2 years ago Reply
  2. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I’ve looked everywhere for an article like this and couldn’t find anything. This is so perfect!

    By Siel Vessalius | 2 years ago Reply
  3. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS!!!!

    By sarah | 2 years ago Reply
  4. Muito obrigada por compartilhar isso conosco. As vezes é difícil permanecer em oração por isso. Deua te abençoe

    Thank you so much for share it with us. Sometimes is really dificult, keep praying for my future! God bless you <3

    By ana clara | 2 years ago Reply
    • You’re very welcome, I hope that this idea helps you; I agree, it can get really hard at times in our world. I will say a prayer for you! God bless!

      By AnneMarie Miller | 2 years ago Reply
  5. Very nice to see something this positive!

    By Jennifer Martin | 2 years ago Reply
  6. This is so beautiful!
    I’m writing the very first letter to my future husband right now! Thank you so much for all that inspiration and encouragement!
    Blessings!

    By Lilia | 2 years ago Reply
  7. Really lovely post!!! Such an encouraging and joyful idea; thank you for sharing it. God bless you & your hubby!!!

    By Cathy | 2 years ago Reply
  8. I was writing a love letter to a woman to whom I was attracted when I was 20 years of age. We already knew each other, but the reason I’m sharing this with you is this: I knew I was being called to be a priest when I discovered to my utter amazement that mid-course within the same letter, I found myself writing to Jesus instead! This may not happen to many people, but what it demonstrates irrespective of one’s vocation is that the Holy Spirit obviously influences us when we write love letters. And why wouldn’t He, for “God is love” (1 John 4:8).

    By Fr Michael de Stoop | 2 years ago Reply
    • Fr. Michael, what a wonderful point! Thank you for bringing up the incredible reality of the Holy Spirit’s movement in our lives! I find it incredibly beautiful that God worked in your heart and life in that way; He truly loves to “romance” His children!

      By AnneMarie Miller | 2 years ago Reply
  9. I’ll start making one too 🙂 This is inspiring. God bless~

    By Cherry | 2 years ago Reply
  10. This is a great way to stay pure — my cousin told a guy (today) that I was engaged; yes I’m engaged to a man in the future, but I’m married to God first…. Thank you for this!!!!!

    By Marquisha X | 2 years ago Reply
  11. thank you =)

    By riz | 2 years ago Reply
  12. Im thinkin’ to write for my future husband..this is so exciting..though we havent meet in real life but im already engaged with him..

    By jenny | 2 years ago Reply
  13. At 35, I hope it’s not yet late, I’m going to write a love letter to my future husband. Thank you.

    By luz | 2 years ago Reply
    • You are very welcome! I’m glad that you are doing this; age honestly does not matter! I will say a prayer for you!

      By AnneMarie Miller | 2 years ago Reply
      • thank you AnneMarie.

        By Luz | 2 years ago Reply
  14. This was an awesome post! Thanks so much! You’re great!

    By John Paul | 2 years ago Reply
  15. Absolutely gorgeous post!

    By Brooke | 2 years ago Reply
  16. this is a great thing to do for your future spouse. I’ll surely begin doing this. thanks and God bless you and your team.

    By Felix | 2 years ago Reply
  17. I have started also to write series of letter to my future mahal

    By Lee | 2 years ago Reply
    • I bet your mahal would really love it. =)

      By Charlotte | 2 years ago Reply
  18. Thank you so much for writing this. I have been thinking about writing a letter to my future spouse and now I think I will write a series of them. You really made this decision concrete.

    By Akalia Pace | 2 years ago Reply
  19. Hi AnneMarie! I just started a journal at the start of the semester, writing every so often to my future husband. It brings me a lot of peace; I love in your blogpost when you said that when you started writing letters to your now husband, you started “seeing him as a real person rather than a futuristic dream.” That’s such a profound and beautiful line! I’d never thought journaling to my future husband in that way. Great post! God bless 🙂

    By Christina | 2 years ago Reply
  20. I love this post!! I’ve always wanted to do something like this but never could get it started. This post inspired me to move forward and do so! Also, I noticed you went to FUS. My brothers went there also and found lovely wife’s and their pure Catgolic relationship also inspired me. Thank you so much for writing this post!

    By Abigail Beauregard | 2 years ago Reply
  21. I’ve just written a short letter for him and thought if it was actually good to be doing such a thing. I did pray for him. and I’m so happy to have found this article!

    By Mo | 2 years ago Reply
  22. Omg! I’m twenty and I’ve been doing this for a month in an online journal. I knew I wasn’t the only one!

    By Shine | 2 years ago Reply
  23. I was so inspired in doing this. I have been onto many impure relationships but still I know that God is there letting me know to be excited with my future husband. And for this day and up until last, I promise to let my future husband know that I am stoked in meeting and seeing him and being in love with him for the rest of our lives.

    By Charlotte | 2 years ago Reply
  24. Hello darling ,
    Thanks for the post and I got that idea when I watched a wedding of a lady who read the love letter she wrote to God concerning her husband and it made me cry. I just decided there to do that same idea. I wrote in a rough paper but I’m putting it in clean.
    So how do I proceed ? I think I should pray for that letter everyday beacause I’m longing to meet that special soul of husband and I’m excited at the same time. I’m in my early 30’s and I want my God to show me the way to him for I know he will. Ok darling give me more orientation because I wanna be a full woman and may the Lord hear my desire and may he blesses you with your hubby..Thanks

    By Anastacia | 2 years ago Reply

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