My Response To Gay Pride Invitations

If you have ever been invited to participate in a gay pride event or invited to “Like” a gay pride page on Facebook, what do you do?

Because I experience same-sex attractions, I get bombarded by that kind of stuff, and have been praying about how I can respond in a loving way, without compromising my faith. I have friends who are closely tied to LGBTQ movements, and I know in their hearts, they are truly doing what they think is best. I have learned to stay quiet and keep the peace on my Facebook wall, by saying nothing. Part of this is pure cowardice—this I do admit. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that Facebook walls are not where hearts are transformed. I took this whole thing to prayer at the foot of the cross. This short letter was the result:

Dear friend,

The world taught me to believe that just because I experience same-sex attractions, “being gay” is “who I am.” However, I noticed that countless people are forming their lives according to their expectations of “what it means” to be “gay,” and for some, it virtually consumes them. This can happen for a lot of people who are simply trying to find their place and who want to belong—that is exactly where I was at one point as well. The problem is that these types of identity labels are incapable of reflecting the fullness of truth of who we truly are. We are more that our sexualities—and if I want to be more completely honest with myself about who I am, embracing a label like “gay” or “straight” is something I will never be able to do.

It’s not a matter of shame—I don’t feel shame for attractions I did not specifically choose to experience. It’s about identitythe identity I specifically choose to embrace. I used to let myself be defined according to my sexual attractions, but today, out of my love for Jesus Christ, I specifically choose to see myself first and foremost through the lens of Christ. I do this while still being honest with myself about the attractions I experience. Therefore, today my identity is first and foremost rooted in Christ. As a result of that transformation of my self-concept, I have gone from being closed to growing in the virtue of chastity, to being open to growing in the virtue of chastity. This has been a joyful transformation that began in the heart.

People often try to tell me that I am living a lie and that the Church hates me and has even brainwashed me. Their accusations reveal their closed-mindedness to growing in their understanding of people like me. I can’t transform their hearts—that is the work of the Holy Spirit. What I can do is offer you my life as an example of the joy I now experience since this transformation of heart has occurred.

I simply invite you to come to learn more about me, and others like me, who experience same-sex attractions and who have specifically chosen to look first and foremost to Christ. In my choice to do this, I have never felt alone, and I have never been more joyful. I just hope and pray that others like me might come to know that they too can find this joy in Christ. His love is for all of us! 🙂

God Bless you. Peace in Christ.

______________

Andrew is a Courage member and a contributor to the Pursuit of Truth Ministries website. He has come to find love and belonging in the Catholic Church—the last place the world taught that he should look, and today he shares his life to show people the true joy that is found within the virtue of chastity. He can be contacted via info@pursuitoftruth.ca.

54 Comments

  1. Wonderful, beautiful letter!

    By CH | 2 years ago Reply
  2. Truly inspiring, thank you for sharing..God give you strength always!

    By Karen | 2 years ago Reply
  3. Thank you for your wonderful testimony!

    By Alexandra | 2 years ago Reply
  4. It is so sad for people to limit ‘who they are’ based on their sexual preferences. As you said, that does not define us. We are so much more! Thank you for sharing your experience. Pax.

    By Rebecca | 2 years ago Reply
  5. Purely Holy Spirit inspired!

    By Ana | 2 years ago Reply
  6. Wow!! So good! We need more of this kind of insight! The church is so confused right now and you understand more of the heart of god on this matter. Thanks for this insight.

    By Jennifer | 2 years ago Reply
    • I just wanted to let you know that the Church does know this but it is the media that has remained firm in the belief that the Church hated homosexuals, they never cared to find out or report the truth, so we just read what the media believes.Make sure you find you the truth for yourself.the media doesn’t have anyones best interests at heart,not even of the homosexuals they are trying to turn away from the Church that is love.the media is motivated by money so for this reason everything they report with always be biased in favour of what they think will make them the most money. Andrew inspired by the Holy Spirit has uncovered the truth and has explained it perfectly,we need more of this to get past the main hurdle,being the media, that currently ‘informs’ our society.God bless 🙂

      By Claire | 2 years ago Reply
  7. Thank you for sharing about your life. It helps me to understand same-sex attraction a little better. Also I appreciated what you said about the tendency to over-emphasize one’s sexual preference over the more telling aspects of one’s character and identity.

    By Linda | 2 years ago Reply
  8. I simply love your response. Quite an example of real charity and understanding of what God wants for anyone of us: to be saints.

    By Anai | 2 years ago Reply
  9. Andrew, THANK YOU for your spiring testimony. I admire you. Please continue doing this. I’ll pray for you!

    By Vivianette | 2 years ago Reply
  10. Thank you for being open to Christ showing you your true worth and giving you the courage to live your life to the fullest in truthfulness. Bless you.

    By Diane Gervais | 2 years ago Reply
  11. To live in the image of Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit it leads us to the truth of chastity. Chastity is difficult for priest, couples who are dating and even for us who are married.God loves all mankind and He never forgets his own golden rule. Honoring our body as the temple of the Holy Spirit reminds us of that love. I am very proud to call you my brother and I will pray for you to be strong and prayerful. God bless you!

    By Rosie | 2 years ago Reply
  12. Beautifully inspiring! Thank you for sharing this. It has truly and deeply touched me.

    By Colleen | 2 years ago Reply
  13. Thank you for your courage and life testimony. May God continue to bless you!

    By Jessenia | 2 years ago Reply
  14. Thank you. Just thank you thank you thank you for just being so open and honest and for speaking out on such a hot topic.

    By Hannah Pavalko | 2 years ago Reply
  15. Beautiful letter! May God bless you tremendously.

    By April W. | 2 years ago Reply
  16. You have a beautiful love for God and in the end that is all that what matters.

    By Rosemary | 2 years ago Reply
  17. YOU are an inspiration to me!

    By Ann | 2 years ago Reply
  18. That sort of response takes a lot of courage. God bless.

    By Mike L | 2 years ago Reply
  19. Beautifully said. God bless you.

    By robin | 2 years ago Reply
  20. Beautifully explained!

    By Beth | 2 years ago Reply
  21. Thank you for sharing this…I am almost blinded by tears of near disbelief at finding this uncommon article, of joy, and of acceptance (self acceptance coming from God’s acceptance). I wrote something similar down the other night when I could not sleep; God put it in my heart in the wee hours of the morning to (however frantically) write down all about my innermost pain from my most-kept-secret vices over my adolescent years, and I realize now in reading this article that I have much growing to do in my maturity and faith. I realize now that I am at the beginning of forming my lengthy testimony on same-sex attractions and putting Christ before everything else. Thank you.

    By Lindsey | 2 years ago Reply
  22. Wonderful testimony. We should remember that this isn’t just about people who experience same-sex attraction– far too many heterosexual people (especially men) define themselves by their sexuality or make their sexual desires the center of their lives. I know, I have been one of them. When our love for Christ is put first, however, our physical attractions take their proper (modest and chaste) place in our relationships with others. God be with you, Andrew!

    By Marco | 2 years ago Reply
  23. awesome!

    By Daniel H | 2 years ago Reply
  24. I really love that insight about Facebook walls. People always become so rude and frustrated with one another-those arguments never do any good!

    By Catherine | 2 years ago Reply
  25. can’t tell whats sadder, this article or the people that think this isn’t sad. While i certainly can support that sexuality doesn’t need to define who you are, there’s nothing wrong with it if it does. pray for me, i dont subscribe to your hateful religion that hides behind a delusional display of compassion.

    By Anonymous | 2 years ago Reply
    • Anon, sadder than either option you mentioned is those who have their sexuality define who they are. Do you understand what that is saying? It says that before they are to be considered a loving person, a compassionate person, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen, they are first to be considered someone who is attracted to someone of the same sex, different sex, young children, siblings, animals, etc.

      Our religion’s (I am specifically referring to Roman Catholicism) view towards homosexuality, etc, comes as a logical conclusion from previously accepted premises. It did not come about as a “Well, we hate homosexuals, so let’s come up with reasons to say they are abominations, etc”. On the other hand, those who do not like the conclusion do not look at it rationally but instead assign labels like “hateful” and “delusional” so they do not actually have to discuss the point. We truly care for those with SSA and I do pray your eyes will be opened to the fact that even if you do not like what we have concluded, you can appreciate that it is done still out of love.

      By Dennis | 2 years ago Reply
    • I’m truly sorry that your experience with people that share my Faith has made you feel hated. Christianity should always be based in love no matter what any person’s sins are, whether those sins are of a sexual nature or sins against justice, mocking those who act differently than you do. Someday i pray you’ll meet someone who’ll take the time to love you as Christ does.

      By Neal | 2 years ago Reply
  26. Dear Andrew thank you very much for your beautifully inspiring story. Yes being Chaste is hard but with the Love of Christ, beautiful inspiring people like you and this site helps to understand the importance of chastity and being chaste. Thank you again.

    Will keep you all in prayers, God bless you all

    By Emmanuel | 2 years ago Reply
  27. Andrew, I feel sorry that you feel you have to repress your sexuality in order to be a good Christian. God loves you; for you. You can be who you are and still be loyal to Christ.

    By steph | 2 years ago Reply
    • He’s not repressing it, he’s living it out in a different way! He isn’t denying these attractions- but he’s choosing not to act on them. He is being who he is, and he’s being loyal to Christ! Just as a religious can feel sexually attracted to someone, but doesn’t act on that attraction- he or she is loyal to their vocation, their love, Christ. Just as I can feel sexually attracted to a man other than my husband- my choice not to act on that attraction is my loyalty to my vocation, my husband. The man I took a Vow to love and cherish and be loyal to for the rest of my life. Not an act of repression.

      It isn’t repression to deny oneself for a greater love. And that is what Andrew is doing, God Bless him.

      By GiannaT | 2 years ago Reply
  28. Fantastic… i luv it !

    By Rejath Benny | 2 years ago Reply
  29. God bless your efforts for inspiring so many. we all need to see our selves through Christ first, not our sexuality.

    By Patricia | 2 years ago Reply
  30. Beautiful! May God abundantly bless you on your journey.

    By Catherine | 2 years ago Reply
  31. Thank you for your fortitude and writing this beautiful article. May God Bless you.

    By Mary-Anne Delaney | 2 years ago Reply
  32. Thank you for your much needed response, Andrew. I know people in a similar situation, hopefully they will gain inspiration from your well written, very brave article. Thank you for having the strength to be who God wants you be. My family and I will pray for you!

    By Robert Bonin | 2 years ago Reply
  33. I suppose that a same sex attraction is not all that unusual. However, for those who find no real sexual connection with the opposite sex and may even find it repugnant, is it fair to their opposite sex partner, who they chose for religious purposes? Is that relationship with that opposite sex partner honest? How fulfilling would that type of relationship be for the opposite sex partner, who wants to be loved in and out of the bed?

    By Deborah Saseen | 2 years ago Reply
    • Did no one respond to you? Of course one needs to be honest about one’s sexuality and love! To act against one’s integrity and choose a partner one is not attracted to, is not proscribed by any true religion. That is why we must be clear about what the Church is saying on matters of sexuality.

      By E Meinert | 2 years ago Reply
  34. Delightful. May the Holy Spirit who dwells within our hearts continue to inspire in us the radical change we need.

    By Yosev u Cighan Yosev OCD | 2 years ago Reply
  35. Thank you Holy Spirit and thank you dear brother Andrew for answering the Lord’s call. God bless you and your family and your loved ones +++

    By Matt Pratt | 2 years ago Reply
  36. My prayers are with you, thank you for letting God fill your life in such a beautiful way.

    By Gina | 2 years ago Reply
  37. Very powerful testimony. Thank you for sharing your heart with millions out there. God bless you and may He continue to give you the graces you need

    By Venus | 2 years ago Reply
  38. I deeply admire and respect you for choosing Jesús, but you´re no alone. Myself being a young widow ( 40) get sometimes ” teased o presured” to have a sexual company in my life ( in my case a man) but I willingly chose to live in chastity because I believe God´s plans are better than mine and his plan is that sex for catholics is for married people. Keep it up! The Lord is worth it!

    By Monica | 2 years ago Reply
  39. This is so good! Thank you for your transparent honesty!

    By Rachel | 2 years ago Reply
  40. Hahahahaha

    By misty | 2 years ago Reply
  41. A Godly perspective and response to an extremely difficult internal and spiritual conflict. A cross to bear can become a lifeline to freedom through the only one who can free us all from any type of prison internal or external. A wonderful insight in which any person with an internal struggle may find freedom by personal choice in Christ who is capable of leading anyone who believes and follows Him to light and peace.

    By Paul Joseph | 2 years ago Reply
  42. While I commend you on a very eloquent message, I feel that you have totally misunderstood the meaning of “pride”. While I would agree that some aspects of a pride festival are um…..over the top, the general message of pride is not one of “gay is great” but one of inclusiveness. It’s a celebration of the right to be who we want to be (a right that it seems you cherish very much). It’s a celebration of the battles won along the road to equality and human right. I imagine your life would be much harder had the people that came before us not stood up, and given themselves to the cause. We celebrate diversity, and the battles past, much like how many Christians celebrate the trials and tribulations of Jesus. It makes me sad to hear you speak as though Pride does a disservice to you by celebrating what you see as “gay identity”. I fully commend you on your choice to live your life in support of your lord, but I pray that you will also be able to understand, the hard work and the path created to allow you to be open with yourself and with your religion.

    By McKenzie | 2 years ago Reply
  43. Thank you for your honest, courageous and inspiring letter. Your embrace of chastity has renewed my fervor to continue to pursue chastity in my state of life, as well.

    By Chris | 2 years ago Reply
  44. Wow. This is as close to love and acceptance as I have read in a while when it comes to LGBT and Christianity. It almost sounds like we are making progress as a species.
    I have never understood being attracted to the same sex, but I also have never felt it was my place to judge it. We are told many times in the Bible not to judge and not to fear and to love everyone. 3 commandments we seldom obey because we only seem to see “a man shall not lay with another man” which is only mentioned like 2 times.(Thank you King James) It is interesting to me the amount of interpretation change in that statement over the last few thousand years. 3,000 years ago it loosely meant “ganging up other people”. Since women were men’s property then they weren’t included in the statement but were generally the property taken from another man without other men to back him up.
    Here is a link to some other misinterpretations by the masses commonly found in religion http://jesus-messiah.com/html/fornication.html
    We do a better job interpreting the story of the three little pigs than we do our Holy Bible (we know the story is not about only 1 in 3 pigs being good contractors).
    Take that as you will and I hope I don’t get too beat down for this comment for it is shared in love and with respect and not to stir up fear and anger. It felt like a safe place to share <3

    By Valerie | 2 years ago Reply
  45. I pray He continues to be you strength and hope.

    By Rianna | 2 years ago Reply
  46. What an awesome article! Keep spreading this revolutionary truth to all! It is not easy, I am sure, and having a family member who is also practicing chastity for this reason, know that you are in my prayers and am so proud of your faithful living.

    By Karen Bauman | 2 years ago Reply
  47. I fully respect the life you’ve decided to live for Christ! I do not feel it necessary to attend any “gay” pride celebrations because I can’t see how that can be a good thing! Seems like it would be me supporting something I don’t believe in. God bless you!

    By Linda Little | 2 years ago Reply
  48. Those who seek God are never disappointed, for he is faithful, and to him nothing is impossible.

    Thanks for sharing your story. May the Lord continue to bless you.

    By Deanna | 2 years ago Reply
  49. Wow! This really helps me gain more of a perspective. Thank you for that letter.

    By David | 2 years ago Reply

Leave a Reply