If You’re Single, You’re Gonna Die

Just kidding.

Now… Let’s do some real talk. If you’re single, raise your hand. Now take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay, you’re not gonna die… Unless you text and drive.

I know the holidays are here, and everyone plus their little sibling seems to have a significant other, who they’re posting pictures with on Instagram. But you? Why have you been celebrating Singles Awareness Day since Valentine’s Day of… 2000 something? It’s because you’re terribly un-loveable and have nothing beneficial to share with anyone, especially your frumpy fashion sense, right…?

NO! Stop being so emo and start believing in yourself! I know it’s not fun to be single when you don’t want to be. There was a period in my life, beginning in college, when (aside from several awkward dates and that one time I was trying to discern a vocation to priesthood), I was single. This period was a DECADE long. 10 Years. 120 Months. 43,800 Days. During this time I could have crumpled up into fetal position and cried myself to sleep while feeding myself Bon Bon’s, ALL BYYY MYYSELLF (insert Celine Dion’s voice here). But I didn’t, because that’s dumb. Not so much the Bon Bon’s part, but the other part.

The purpose of this entry isn’t to give you 10 ways to ask someone out, but rather:

Make the Most Out of Being Single.

It’s a really important time in your life. It’s so crucial that it will significantly impact your future “everything.” 100 percent of the time, your future will be influenced in some way by your past. Haven’t you seen The Notebook? I haven’t. Anyways, use today well.

I don’t presume to know God’s will for your life and destiny; but I do know He doesn’t want you to wallow in self-pity. Rather than seeing your situation in the glass-half-empty-forever position, see it as a golden opportunity to grow as a person: In mind, body, and soul. The more you work on “you” now, the better off your future marriage and ultimately your vocation will be, because of it. So the challenge I present to you today is simple:

Make one tangible goal for yourself this week in each category of:

1. Mind

2. Body

3. Soul.

Then do it. Because if all we do is read articles on how to improve our life, but don’t carry out any of the advice, it’s like wasting time on the internet… Oh wait. Ha. Here, I’m going to help you out with some ideas to get started:

1. Mind:

– Read a book that will benefit you

– Try The Five Love Languages by Chapman

– Grow in self-awareness

– Meet a counselor to deal with unresolved issues

– Get out of debt / control of your finances (DaveRamsey.com)

– Learn a new skill / trade

– Learn an instrument (learn for free on YouTube)

– Don’t feed negative thoughts

– Turn off Netflix and do something on this list

 2. Body:

– Exercise

– Get to the Gym

– Eat healthier, while enjoying junk on occasion

– Join an intramural league

– Learn a martial art

– Kick a bank robber in the face

– Go volunteer

– Do a random act of kindness for someone in need

 3. Soul:

– Read the Gospels, 5 minutes a day

– Read the book of Tobit in the Old Testament: It’s about God answering the prayers of single people

– Join a youth / young adult group

– Make a Good Confession and let God forgive you, of everything

– Forgive the people who have hurt you

– Pray the Rosary

– Go to Mass every Sunday; shock the old ladies by going on a weekday (Masstimes.org)

– Make good friends & get rid of bad ones

– Work on your relationship with Jesus. Daily.

If you’re reading this, I’m praying for you. Young adulthood is not always easy. But it’s all worth it, and God is faithful.

“I know well the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

_______________________________

IMG_0824_2Paul J. Kim is an International youth speaker, vocalist, and beatboxer. He presents and performs full time, sharing his love for Christ via music, comedy, and inspirational talks. He has released two music albums entitled “The World Sings” (2013) and “Run Fly Fall” (2009), and is a featured speaker at NCYC, the Steubenville Summer Youth Conferences, and the Spirit in the City Festival in London, UK. His background includes a Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy (Hope International Univ.), a Bachelors in Philosophy (Franciscan University of Steubenville), and over a decade of experience working in youth ministry. Paul resides in Southern California with his wife, Maggie, and newborn daughter, Audrey. Visit Paul’s website at www.PJKmusic.com.

29 Comments

  1. Wonderful! I will wait patiently and happy.

    By cari | 2 years ago Reply
  2. I actually enjoyed reading this the first time round. Can’t wait for the fruits to be seen. Hope awaits us all 🙂

    By Daughter of God | 2 years ago Reply
  3. This is fine if you are still a young adult. What if you are in your late 40’s and still single, and you don’t want to be? Everything that is posted or mentioned about singleness is geared toward young adults. It is very discouraging to not be acknowledged.

    By Dianne | 2 years ago Reply
    • It’s a hard thing to be single when you don’t want to be. But focusing on it, whether you are a young adult, mid-life or in your late life, will not do you any favors. I think the point is to focus on bettering yourself, or you can find something that you are extremely passionate about and do it, or you can help others. These are all things that make you forget about your own situation and focus things that can help. Don’t let singleness define who you are, you define who you are.

      By Victoria | 2 years ago Reply
    • Amen to that! I just turned 40 and have SSA. I feel like the church / parishioners has no idea what to do with you.

      By Carter | 2 years ago Reply
    • Yeah, I agree. I’m in my mid 30s and while these things may be beneficial they don’t really make you feel all that much better when you’ve been single your whole life. I get sick of people who are paired up before 30 telling me how it is.

      By SophieEvans | 2 years ago Reply
  4. Thank you so much for this post. There were somethings I really needed to hear.

    By Madeleine | 2 years ago Reply
  5. Really needed this reminder today, and I am definitely going to start thinking more positively in this new year!

    By Sophie | 2 years ago Reply
  6. This is exactly what I have needed to hear. It’s inspiring and gives me hope and encouragement to take time to better myself and my faith to truly be ready for marriage when the time comes. Thank you.

    By Mary Hughes | 2 years ago Reply
  7. Thank you for this article! I am glad to read something that provides examples and attainable goals to work towards.

    By Tabitha | 2 years ago Reply
  8. Loved it! Funny, fresh, inspiring

    By Nikki | 2 years ago Reply
  9. Awesome article to read on day one of 2015 – thank you!

    By Emily | 2 years ago Reply
  10. Loved it!! Funny, vibrant and specially helpful!! Will start working ASAP

    By Nella | 2 years ago Reply
  11. Such great insight! Thank you- this message needs to be heard. It brought me a lot of peace.

    By Amanda | 2 years ago Reply
  12. This is just what I needed to start off the new year.

    By Zeus Sumra | 2 years ago Reply
  13. Thank you, I will try…

    By Dorian | 2 years ago Reply
  14. Happy New Year to you Paul and the rest of the team at CHASTITY PROJECT

    Thank you very much for sharing this article and for the sound advice (I will work on it and I am sure God wants me to too)

    God bless you. Thank You

    By Emmanuel | 2 years ago Reply
  15. I will honestly try do these things! First I need to find a bank robber. 😉

    By Emily | 2 years ago Reply
  16. Awesome article! Maybe I’ll take up reading those religious books I’ve tucked away in a cabinet

    By Sarah | 2 years ago Reply
  17. Thank you for these words, I really need them to see! Many young people, expecially during this Christmas time wish they could have a person to share special moments, but if it’s not in the God’s Will we have to accept it and try to hope that everything will be great in our future! Trusting always in Jesus and in the Vergin MARY

    By Samanta | 2 years ago Reply
  18. Thank you! I’ve never thought in this way.

    By agata | 2 years ago Reply
  19. Great Article! Thank you

    By Eileen | 2 years ago Reply
  20. Thank you for all the wonderful works you do for God’s glory and to bring young people closer to God. God bless you and your family and sharing your gift from God

    By Chirissa | 2 years ago Reply
  21. What a great way to start the year right! Thank You!

    By anne | 2 years ago Reply
  22. This is a great article! I am very excited about 2015 and plan on taking up a lot of the suggestions in this article, particularly the working out suggestion! I’ve read a good portion of the Old Testament, but never the Book of Tobit, so I’ll definitely have to check that one out!

    By Michelle | 2 years ago Reply
  23. Thanks, Paul, for giving me something tangible to work with to start an awesome new year, and for reassuring me that I’m not going to die. (Before I read your article I thought I was doomed)

    By Fran Hwang | 2 years ago Reply
  24. Sweet post. You rock, man.

    By Zion | 2 years ago Reply
  25. this is perfect! I loved every minute of reading it! Good job and God bless

    By Elissa | 2 years ago Reply
  26. wow really? nobody has any idea what its like to be a single man in today’s society with societal pressures . but seriously dating is overrated garbage anyways having to be a crying shoulder to some women that gets upset that they got her Starbucks order wrong. thats why i plan on being single my whole life and having none of that drama.

    By mike smith | 2 years ago Reply

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