Posts by Katie Hartfiel

After the sin, whose voice do you hear?

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The devil has a way of making a sin look like no big deal when you are thinking of committing it, but too big of a deal for God to forgive after you’ve done it. We’ve all experienced the endless voices of harsh thoughts after we’ve made mistakes. So, how do we know which voices are from God? If you’ve Read more…

How to talk to friends about chastity . . . without losing them

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I am often approached by young people who begin our conversation with the phrase, “So I have this friend…” Many people want to reach out to others but are afraid of being labeled as “judgy” or a “shamer.” We want to be nice, helpful and convicted as Catholics—and sometimes it’s confusing to figure out how all those can fit together. Read more…

5 Modesty Hacks To Save Your Wardrobe

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When it comes to purity, often the hardest topic to sell to young women is that of modesty. As a teenager I had a close and personal relationship with my closet. Part of me would rather sacrifice my right arm than some of my favorite outfits. However, sanctity comes with sacrifice, and your sacrifice will not go unrewarded. Each time Read more…

Child of Mercy

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As she sat across from us, her pain was almost palpable. A family friend sat with my then-fiancé and I as she lamented about her oldest son’s behavior problems. He struggled with nutrition, attention deficit and general disobedience. As she went on, she eventually divulged the real, haunting, deep truth behind her struggle. The root of her pain wasn’t her Read more…

¿Cómo Usar la Biblia Para Rezar Por Tu Futuro/a (o Actual) Marido/Esposa?

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Rezar por mi futuro marido fue una de las claves de mi decisión para permanecer pura en la adolescencia. Básicamente, años más tarde descubrimos que mi decisión de dedicar estas oraciones coincidía con la fecha de la espontánea conversión de mi prometido. Hace pocos años, durante una conferencia, una mujer preguntó cómo rezo ahora por mi marido. Es increíble cómo Read more…

The Vocation Fixation: What Does God Want?

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I once heard a religious sister’s vocation story where she described her discernment process as the feeling that God was holding her vocation hostage… and it was her job to negotiate its release! She eventually discovered the truth that Fr. Mike Schmitz puts so well when he says, “God won’t ask you to answer a question that He hasn’t asked Read more…

How to use the Bible to Pray For Your Future (or Current) Spouse

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Praying for my future spouse was one of the keys to my decision to stay pure as a teen. Ultimately, years later we discovered that my decision to dedicate myself to these prayers coincided with the date of the spontaneous conversion of my Husband-To-Be. A few years ago during a speaking engagement, a woman asked how I pray for my Read more…

If the Devil Can’t Get You To Settle, He Has a Plan B

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Jackie Francois-Angel’s wildly popular article, “The Devil Wants You to Settle in Your Relationship,” sets forth several gut-check questions to help you determine if your relationship is “heaven-sent.” Jackie’s observations are spot on for pure Catholic singles, as well as for those who find significant others who hinder their purity. I strongly believe that the devil’s Plan A is to Read more…

Don’t Open Your Presents Before Christmas

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In 1994, there was no choice but to wait. I remember how the world was rocked when a new technology began to shorten the distance between people, making communication easier and more instant. Three words changed everything: Dial-Up Internet. Oh yeah, I have vivid memories of waiting just a few short minutes to connect to the World Wide Web. The Read more…

Dance Like Someone Is Watching

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I’ll never forget a conversation from a few years ago with a teen who was in anguish about her first middle school dance. It wasn’t deliberations about her dress or hair that caused knots in her stomach and kept her awake at night. There was another decision that lay before her just wasn’t sitting right. Her friends on the other Read more…

The Buzzword Shared By 50 Shades and the Bible

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With the rise in popularity of the book turned film, 50 Shades of Grey, the word “submission” has suddenly risen from taboo, to chic for many avid fans. Ironically, a hipster-minded Catholic might venture to explain that we’ve been embracing a teaching on submission long before it was riddling the pages the pop culture phenomena… just in a very different Read more…

Say Yes To Sex

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In its proper context, God loves sex. He could have gone with the stork or the cabbage patch, as procreative means, but God had other plans. Often times it seems that the topic of chastity can be summed up as: “no!” In fact, chastity at its core is all about “yes! By trusting Christ and following His plan, we discover Read more…

Advice From The “Real” Love Experts (Part 2)

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Conceal don’t feel. This is the mantra of the Snow Queen, Elsa, throughout every stage of life. That is, of course, until her climactic musical number in the Disney phenomena, Frozen.  At this moment, the Queen lets her listeners know that the “perfect girl is gone” as she boldly proclaims a new mantra: “no right, no wrong, no rules for Read more…

Advice From The “Real” Love Experts (Part 1)

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Who doesn’t love Anna of Arendelle? It seems as if the epic tale of Frozen has captured an audience that ranges from age two to senior citizen. There is something about the combination of sacrificial love, passion, rejection, pain and joy that resonates in us… not to mention the songs are pretty catchy. I feel like Anna is so much Read more…

How My Prayers Transformed My Husband-To-Be

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Katie’s story I was 17 when I had the life-changing opportunity to experience the program now known as Franciscan LEAD. This was the week I fell in love. This love had a name and a face and was more indescribable than anything I had ever experienced. It was Jesus who captured my heart and became the first Love of my Read more…

Chastity Before Marriage Fosters Chastity In Marriage

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Chastity in marriage? Wait. What? Let’s back up and clear up some misconceptions about chastity… The word “chastity” isn’t synonymous with the word “abstinence”: Within this context, abstinence is defined as refraining from sexual intercourse. Abstinence is an aspect of pre-marital chastity but isn’t the endgame. Chastity runs much deeper by giving us a deep reverence and respect for both Read more…

Hope for the Broken

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Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? As a teenager whose heart was beaten and bruised through the pain of my parent’s divorce, I didn’t think so. To say I was bitter would be an understatement. My response to our broken home was a promise to ensure I would never relive such Read more…

5 Ways to Tell if You are in Love

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She is the last thing you think of before you fall asleep and your first thought in the morning… Your heart races when you see him in the hallway… You can’t remember life without each other…. But is it the real thing? Ask yourself the following questions to shed some light on the topic: 1. Are you in love with Read more…