Dating Through the Decades

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She was the best catch I ever made—I don’t know how I got her, the seasoned fisherman said beaming at his beautiful bride of over 50 years. My grandparent’s love never ceases to amaze me. 50 years of marriage seems next to impossible in our world today and because of this our trust in lasting love has dwindled—taking with it Read more…

Are you free to love?

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One often hears from young people something like the following: “You’re only young once—now is the time for me get this out of my system and live it up; I’ll eventually settle down later.” It’s easy to fall into this, assuming that my actions in the present have virtually no bearing on who I will become in the future. But Read more…

Why you should break up with the guy of your dreams

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I have a bit of a confession to make: I have a dream guy. And I mean that quite literally. Allow me to explain: when I was younger, one person in particular from my daily life would show up in my dreams every now and again. As we grew closer, unsurprisingly, the dreams became more frequent. But when it later Read more…

Friends with (true) benefits

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It’s been said, “If I want to know who you are, show me your friends.” In order to steadfastly pursue the good—whether in sports, academics, or relationships—we’ll need the support of solid friends. So, how can we form friendships that last? Aristotle outlines three types of friendship: (1) friendship of pleasure; (2) friendship of utility; and (3) virtuous friendship. The Read more…

What’s wrong with modern dating?

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Today during my hour of cardio at the YMCA I couldn’t help but laugh at the TV screen as it played a new episode of The Bachelorette. Viewers get a sneak peak of a glamorous dating life. A gorgeous woman has the opportunity to date 15 attractive, successful men all at once! And she gets to kiss them too—every girl’s dream Read more…

Are You Trapped in Lukewarm Love?

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“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.” (Revelation 3:15-16) When I first read this passage I was always unsure of why Christ is so direct with his detest for lukewarm Read more…

It’s Just a Date!

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As an introvert, people-watching is one of my favorite activities. I love to go to my favorite coffee shop down the street from my office and watch the flutter of caffeinated people around me. I was sitting in one of my favorite coffee shops a few weeks back when I saw something so rare, I couldn’t help but stare and Read more…

How delighted the devil would be to see us do this.

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In a recent blog post, Tommy McGrady wrote that “marriage isn’t just hard. It’s sneaky hard.” But a friend of mine read it, and then she responded. “When you learn to communicate, love your spouse more than yourself, learn to compromise and accept that not everything in life is going to be the way you want, marriage is not hard at all,” she wrote.So Read more…

When Dating Is Hard

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As a Catholic, I believe that dating is for discerning marriage — for discovering the truth about each other. For deciding whether to choose to love each other until death. Sometimes, dating is fun. You can go to aquariums together and stuff. There are otters at aquariums. Need I say more? Dating is good. If you pay attention, you learn about God and each Read more…

Mr. (NOT EXACTLY) PERFECT

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I was eating dinner with a lovely friend of mine the other night and the topic of future spouses came up somewhere in the course of the conversation. Both of us expressed the confusion we feel about the “perfect guy.” Some people say that there is no such thing as Mr. Perfect, since we are all flawed, while others will Read more…

Dating (and breaking up) with Virtue

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Slingshots Remember the story of David and Goliath? The one where a small shepherd boy claims an unlikely victory over a warrior giant in an all or nothing battle with nothing but a slingshot? When you imagine it perhaps you picture David going into battle with only his slingshot and a prayer, but it wasn’t quite like that. Yes, God’s Read more…

Is It Love or Is It Use?

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Dating: A Friend You Make-Out With? Recently I was on a flight with a college senior and we began conversing about casual dating, which she defined as “a friend who you make-out with.” As we chatted about it more she admitted, “It doesn’t feel quite right.” So I asked her straight up if it’s a situation where you basically use Read more…

Beware of the Eclipse of the Heart

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The pursuit of love: the flowers, the candlelight dinners, the stargazing, the lazy movie nights, the nights out on the town…it’s all so exciting and new! You skim the surface of the mystery of this stranger—excited by what you see, and wanting to know more. You think about each other when you are apart, and you come up with countless Read more…

How Do I Avoid Emotionally Using Someone?

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Blank Space, Baby In high school, I was that girl who was constantly on the look out for a guy to fill her blank space. And as soon as I met someone who showed some mutual interest, I’d jump right in. Within a few weeks it was usually official, or at least, it looked that way. He was perfect. He Read more…

Reality TV vs. Real Love

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Oh reality TV shows. I’m a sucker for them… along with most of my generation. A few weeks ago, I found myself doing what many girls my age do on Monday nights: watching the Bachelorette. I’ve only watched a handful of episodes, but everyone seems to be talking about it…why not check it out? Lucky for me, I tuned into Read more…

Learning to love on Spotify

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Sometimes I like to listen to the Top Songs on Spotify to find my new jam. And one day, lo and behold, a smooth song came on and I began to sway a bit at my desk, getting excited. Could this be it? Then I looked down. Oh no. Oh, please no. It’s Justin Bieber. As I reached to change Read more…

How to be Happily Single

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Lately I’ve just been so happy. Happier than I think I’ve ever been. I’m single, and I’m happy. Two words that I thought would never go together. And it is amazing. It’s like I’m finally learning who I am instead of wasting time trying to become who someone else (other than God) might like me to be. It’s like I’m Read more…

What a First Kiss Tells You

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I recently read an article what a first kiss tells you, and it didn’t sit right. The author called a first kiss a litmus test. She wrote that it’s how you confirm that a guy is into you—that it’s how you determine whether he’s confident. And maybe, for her, that’s what a first kiss is. And maybe it is for Read more…

You are innocent, but you are not naïve.

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To all my single ladies and single gentlemen out there who haven’t done much dating (or no dating at all), there are 3 terms that I want you to familiarize yourself with, and be able to distinguish between. Innocent: “the state of being free from sin; a lack of guile or corruption; purity” Purity: “the condition of being free from Read more…

The Problem with Pick-Up Lines

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Recently, as I was boarding my return flight to Denver, I was dreading the fact that I couldn’t avoid the uncomfortable experience of getting stuck with the middle seat on the flight. I comforted myself with the knowledge that it was a non-stop flight and that I was exhausted enough that I might be able to fall asleep, even while Read more…

¿Cómo Usar la Biblia Para Rezar Por Tu Futuro/a (o Actual) Marido/Esposa?

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Rezar por mi futuro marido fue una de las claves de mi decisión para permanecer pura en la adolescencia. Básicamente, años más tarde descubrimos que mi decisión de dedicar estas oraciones coincidía con la fecha de la espontánea conversión de mi prometido. Hace pocos años, durante una conferencia, una mujer preguntó cómo rezo ahora por mi marido. Es increíble cómo Read more…

Should you date while discerning?

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No, probably not. It’s one of the toughest struggles, especially for a young person seeking to do the will of God in their lives, to adequately discern a religious vocation while desiring to date.  I tried to walk that line in college and failed more than a few times, hurting several friends in the process. But how can I know Read more…

What if I’ve Met The Right Person At The Wrong Time?

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He’s in a disaster of a relationship with a real wretch. She recently went through a rough breakup and isn’t ready to start something new. They work together for a “no fishing from the corporate pond” company. These are the plot lines that Hollywood rom-coms are made of. And if you’re Catholic, we can throw in a few more…. In Read more…

The Theology of . . . Dance?

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Nowadays, when people think of dancing, they might assume that the practice is irreconcilable with the virtue of chastity. While this is obviously true of some forms of dancing, I sometimes see articles on the usefulness of partner dances such as swing or waltz for developing chastity. When I read these articles I am usually disappointed, not because dancing is bad, but Read more…

It’s Not Love’s Job to Make You Happy

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He makes me happy. She makes me a better person. I can’t imagine life without them. What about the day that he stops making you happy? At some point he’s going to irritate you. She might make you feel like a terrible person down the road. Are you strong enough to be a better person on your own? You might Read more…

What Tim Tebow’s breakup can teach us

Tim Tebow got dumped. Again. This time, the girl is a former Miss USA who allegedly called it quits after a couple of months because she “can’t handle” Tebow’s sexual abstinence. So last week, a New York Daily News gossip blog mocked the famous football player for his inability to “find the endzone,” and wrote that it isn’t the first time that his decision Read more…

The Dating Fast: Part 2

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Around a year ago I wrote a post about what God had taught me during the year-long dating fast I’d felt convicted to take. What I hadn’t expected when I began that year was that it would lead almost seamlessly into a second year. In August last year I began the Sion Youth Foundation Year, an 11-month program which, much Read more…

Where are all the good men?

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As somebody who has written a lot about dating, I have gotten a lot of feedback from single young adults—ladies and gentlemen who haven’t tied the knot and want to, who routinely ask an honest question. “Where are all the good men?” or, “Where are all the good women?” The question is probably rooted in each person’s not so satisfactory Read more…

¿Deberías salir con alguien mientras disciernes?

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No, probablemente no. Una de las pruebas más difíciles, sobre todo para un joven que está buscando la voluntad de Dios para su vida, es discernir adecuadamente una vocación religiosa a la vez que tiene ganas de salir con alguien. Intenté seguir esa línea en la universidad y fallé unas cuantas veces, haciendo daño a varios amigos en el proceso. Read more…

¿Es tu futuro esposo tu ídolo?

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Cuando entré por primera vez en el “mundo de las relaciones” tenía un listado de ideales que quería que tuviera mi futuro esposo. No estoy hablando de principios sino sobre una imagen idealista – como los de una película. Sin embargo me di cuenta de que ningún hombre me hacía “sentir” de una forma mágica todo el tiempo, y nunca Read more…

Want love? Speak up.

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“1, 2, 3…Silent Game! First to talk loses!” I bet most of us are familiar with this common childhood game. We would sit around on playgrounds or in class, trying to hold back giggling, and wait to see who would give in first. Unfortunately, the affect that silence can have within our relationships is far from the innocence of this Read more…

Single . . . and satisfied?

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I’ll be totally honest; I’m a 20 year old who has never had a serious relationship. When I was younger, part of me was ashamed of that. I went to a huge public school where being in a relationship defined a person’s social standing. I wanted a serious relationship so I went on a few dates here and there, but Read more…

What is love?

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There is so much information out there about love and relationships. It’s as if everyone is so afraid of commitment because of the high divorce rate that we have psychoanalyzed love to “make sure” it will work. Articles range from topics such as “How do you know if he/she is the one,” “quick fixes for your relationship,” and “signs you Read more…

You Are Enough.

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You are enough. We all too often forget how powerful these three little words can be in our daily lives. How often do you hear these words throughout your day? Almost never. Instead, we find ourselves glancing in dismay at the bathroom mirror, our vision clouded by what we want to see rather than the beauty of God’s creation before Read more…

How to Be a Virtuous Date

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Virtue is one of those words that sounds a bit lame and unromantic.  Dating tends to make us think of words like: passion, excitement, love and connection … Date with virtue (wha-wha-wha). Buzz kill. Growing up my dad always told me love was a decision, which always sounded too mechanical and cold to be true. But as I grew in Read more…

My Marriage is Not a Fairy Tale

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(Also titled, “How you can marry the man of your dreams and still want to punch him in the face sometimes”) A few years ago, as a single woman, I sat across from a young engaged couple at a Theology of the Body retreat during lunchtime. Curious about their “love story,” I listened for 45 minutes on how God wove Read more…

10 Tips to Stay Chaste

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Let’s face it, practicing chastity is tough. When the ache for affection and intimacy comes, it can draw us into places we never imagined: mentally, emotionally, and physically. Here are 10 steps to help you remain chaste: Don’t Settle I have to be honest; I have dated some not-so-good guys in my day. In doing so I came out hurt and jaded. Who Read more…

Hey Future Husband, I’m A Sinner. How Are You?

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“Look at all these sinners.” My friend sent me that text earlier today as I stood in line for confession, attached was a picture he took of me standing in the line across from him waiting to enter the confessional. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the text. It’s true, I am a terrible sinner—we all are. Plot Read more…

When should you say “I love you”?

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“I love you”: those three words which we inevitably swoon over in soppy movies, yet which in reality cause some people to cry with joy whilst others weep with longing, and makes some grow in confidence and security but others choke in fear and want to hide. There seem to be so many factors and emotions caught up in these Read more…

When attraction is irrelevant (and other dating truths)

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Recently, I received a call from my good friend Americo, who I’ve known since I was 11. First he was my brother’s youth minister. Then mine. And by the way he is brilliant. That day, I had emailed Americo a dating question: How do we know that our standards are solid and not a sign that were hesitant to make the act of faith that marriage requires? It’s the “how far Read more…

Finding Him Whom My Soul Loves

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I’m in love. There, I said it. I’m in love with a man who makes my heart do backflips when he speaks to me, who brings me joy just from knowing he’s near, who makes everything else disappear when I look into his eyes. He is strong and gentle and courageous and humble and bold and selfless all at once. Read more…

He’s Just Not That Into You(r Faith)

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I was 12 years old the first time a guy used the excuse of being “sick” to avoid going to Mass with me. Sadly, that was not an isolated event and I quickly learned that while I may enjoy my faith, the guys I found myself involved with didn’t seem to feel the same way. So, for a time, I Read more…

Is this first date the beginning of forever?

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My friends and I used to treat first dates like a final exam. If you pass, you get married. If you fail, or make a bad joke, you must wipe all your dreams off the board and start over. Dating is supposed to be fun but I easily forget to trust the process. Falling in love and marrying your best Read more…

Waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right

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Most people go through a time of waiting before they find the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. For many, this can be a time of uncertainty and even loneliness. Other than maintaining great personal hygiene (because that’s always important), here’s what you can do to prepare for your future marriage: The time we spend anticipating the arrival Read more…

The Best Dating Advice I Ever Received

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It never ceases to amaze me how many people I know who end up in bad dating relationships. Not only are the relationships unhealthy for them, but for whatever reason, they are attached to the relationship and don’t want it to end. I received an email from a young woman asking for advice in her current dating situation. She shared Read more…

A Bachelor’s Life Interrupted

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Ten months ago, this gorgeous Italian girl and I became nuptial newbies. We took the leap, tied the knot, and said the vows that Jesus says last a lifetime. The decision I made on August 2, 2014 has become the turning point commitment of my existence; a day that changed my life’s entire trajectory. Before my beautiful bride came around, Read more…

Is this first date the beginning of forever?

My friends and I used to treat first dates like a final exam. If you pass, you get married. If you fail, or make a bad joke, you must wipe all your dreams off the board and start over. Dating is supposed to be fun but I easily forget to trust the process. Falling in love and marrying your best Read more…

What’s the point of a dating fast if we’re made for love?

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What images are conjured up by the words “dating fast?” Wait, is that someone not dating by choice? Yes, it’s that and so much more! It can include saying no to casual dating, flirting, making out, and the like; no spending an afternoon daydreaming about your crush or thinking about your wedding; and not encouraging any thoughts of lacking worth Read more…

Chivalry is making a comeback!

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The other day I stumbled across an article which essentially proclaimed “CHIVALRY IS DEAD: Here’s why.” Like a bright red flashing warning sign smack bang in front of my face, I saw the temptation to give in to that kind of defeatist thinking. And I get it, I really do! Pretending we don’t need strong men often hurts less than Read more…

Why I’m Not Afraid of an Awkward Wedding Night

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I am 29 years old, and I have never had sex. Not even close. My decision to practice chastity implies that I never will, unless or until I am married. Which means if I do get married, I won’t have any sexual “experience.” So a young adult who reads my blog once asked me the following question: “Why would you want to Read more…

Single, but not unloved!

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I have been in romantic relationships in my life, but I have been sporting single life for a while now. Recently, my friend told me about this awesome Catholic guy she was swooning over. Get this… they met on Valentine’s day!?! (Really, I thought that only happened in movies?) I was happy for her, but sometimes when I hear about Read more…

You Are Unrepeatable… And So Is Your Love Story

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A total stranger asked me where I got my weave. Flattered, sort of, but my “weave” actually grows directly from my scalp. I mean, sometimes airport security people pat down my head because they’re suspicious I’m hiding something in my hair, so I wasn’t that shocked by her question. I told her my [lazy] regimen after she asked for it Read more…

If the Devil Can’t Get You To Settle, He Has a Plan B

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Jackie Francois-Angel’s wildly popular article, “The Devil Wants You to Settle in Your Relationship,” sets forth several gut-check questions to help you determine if your relationship is “heaven-sent.” Jackie’s observations are spot on for pure Catholic singles, as well as for those who find significant others who hinder their purity. I strongly believe that the devil’s Plan A is to Read more…

What to look for in a future spouse

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“What should I look for in a future spouse?” No one will miraculously change once you are married, so it’s important to see if your significant other has qualities worthy of marriage while dating. However, an even better question is: “What kind of person should I be for my future spouse?” The following list will offer a few helpful points to consider: Self-sacrificial love. This is Read more…

Is your future spouse your idol?

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When I first entered the “dating scene,” I had a list of ideals that my future husband would have. I’m not talking about standards, because those are good to have. I’m talking about an idealist image—nothing short of a movie. But, I came to realize that no man made me “feel” a magical way all the time, and I could Read more…

4 Ways to Avoid Falling in Love with a Fantasy

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As a general rule, I don’t watch chick flicks. Partly because I know the aftermath they leave behind—the frustration at life being so much harder than it’s portrayed, the longing to be loved like the heroine, the pain of wondering if I can be, the temptation to throw up at the sight of fully grown girls melting into a mess Read more…

Marriage Prep Starts When You’re Single

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Just before my wife and I got married, I read a great book by Archbishop Fulton Sheen about marriage. He claimed that one of the goals of marriage is that each spouse would gradually surrender their ego (sense of self-importance) as they strive to better love and serve each other. The idea sounded nice, but I figured that it wouldn’t really be Read more…

Compromising Yourself Will Not Help Another

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Forks and plates clattered against tables, and conversations filled the cafeteria. In the middle of this bustling scene, my attention was turned to a young woman. She had mentioned that she was in a bad relationship, which I could see was bringing her deep emotional harm. Horrified, I encouraged her to get help and leave the relationship. “But Jesus hung Read more…

Why can’t we be friends?

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Casablanca ends with the iconic line: “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Granted, I’m no casino owner in love with a woman I can’t have, but I do know the power of beautiful friendships. And some of my greatest friendships are with men—those who I have liked romantically and those I have never liked in Read more…

What do “soulmates” and Santa Claus have in common?

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When my parents broke the news to me that Santa Claus didn’t exist, I stormed out of the room, blurting, “I don’t even want to know about the Easter Bunny!” Although the news was devastating at the time, I found solace in the fact I had obtained a more realistic grasp of how gifts arrived under our tree. Letting go of Read more…

The Top 10 Rationalizations Women Make in Dead-End Relationships

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Have you ever had a friend that was so obsessively focused on the good elements of her unhealthy relationship that she was unable to notice all of the red flags? No matter how much you tried to warn her, she always had a rationalization for why she stayed. Or, have you been that girl? Women have an innate ability to Read more…

Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong?

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Sometimes it can be hard to tell whether or not the person that we ladies spend all of our time thinking about, texting, and/or crushing on will actually be good for us in the long run. If a guy is handsome, charming, and smells nice… chances are we don’t mind his 300 other girlfriends, the questionable way that he never Read more…

The Gaze of the Beloved

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Am I seen for what I am, or who I am? Recently, I had a long, conversation with a friend about her relationship with her boyfriend. She was concerned because she felt that he was seeing her as an object rather than an equal. After pondering this concern more, I realized that we as human beings (but especially women) tend Read more…

Is drinking destroying your relationship?

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“The first few months we dated, I never knew he drank. I would have never guessed it because, after all, he went to mass every Sunday. One time, he invited me to go out with his friends. He kissed me when he was drunk. I felt so dirty after. No girl grows up dreaming one of her first kisses would Read more…

Why Today is the Day to Break Up with Your Boyfriend

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I received many wonderful responses to my piece “When God Provides.” I got texts from old friends, girls I knew in high school, former students, and e-mails and messages from many other women. Some wrote with hopeful hearts, some with broken hearts, many had expectant and joyful hearts. Some wrote sharing they knew they were settling for less than they Read more…

Dear Future Spouse… An open letter from me to you

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A good friend of mine recently gave me a book about future spouses. After each chapter there is a nice little guide to writing your own letter to your future husband/wife. I decided to write my own letter and share it with you. So here it is . . . “Dear future husband, Hey. How are you? I just wanted to Read more…

To be Pro-Life, be Pro-Love

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On January 22, hundreds of thousands of people will join together in Washington DC for the annual March for Life. January 22 is the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision Roe v. Wade, which legalized abortion in America—effectively ending the fundamental right to life in the land of the free. Since 1973, over 56 million American children have died in Read more…

What I hope my little brother learns about love

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When I came home from college for Christmas, my 12-year-old brother admitted that he liked a girl in his class. I, being the concerned older sister that I am, asked what her name was. He was a little embarrassed so he refused to tell me, so for the next two weeks, every time he walked into the room, he was Read more…

Is your love from heaven or hollywood?

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Many people walk away from true love because they think it should look like a Hollywood movie.”He/she didn’t make me happy.” “I didn’t have the feeling he/she was “the one.” Our society says that one day we will wake up with a rainbow over our bed leading us to whoever is “the one.” On the other hand, many times people marry Read more…

When God Provides

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  During my freshman year at Arizona State, I was riding my bright yellow bicycle to an economics exam when my bike chain broke. It split into two pieces. Annoyed at my misfortune, I walked my bike the rest of the way to the exam (I have moments where I’m still thrilled over the fact that I will never have Read more…

Why I STILL don’t date men who are “willing” to save sex

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In his quiet apartment, I stirred a pot of mac ‘n’ cheese while I watched him watch TV. He sighed. So did I, and for the same reason that he did: As of a few minutes earlier, I wasn’t his girlfriend anymore. His was a sigh of resignation. Mine was a sigh of relief. When we first met, I was 23. Read more…

How Do You Know When You’ve Found “The One?”

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One of my favorite things to do when I have spare time is to catch a movie. There was no shortage of blockbuster movies this holiday season—and the one that I was most looking forward to was the final part of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. There’s a scene in the movie where the elf Tauriel holds Kili the dwarf and Read more…

If You’re Single, You’re Gonna Die

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Just kidding. Now… Let’s do some real talk. If you’re single, raise your hand. Now take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay, you’re not gonna die… Unless you text and drive. I know the holidays are here, and everyone plus their little sibling seems to have a significant other, who they’re posting pictures with on Instagram. But Read more…

Chastity . . . the sure way to happiness?

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I often go for a run after I get home from work. When I first started doing this, it was a pain. I hated it. I would walk in the door every afternoon, look around my living room, and often choose to be lazy and not go. Once in a while I’d really be motivated to go, and so I’d Read more…

Beauty in the Breakups

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Every time I hear the word “breakup,” images of Ben and Jerry’s, sappy movies, and a large supply of tissues come to my mind. Because, let’s face it: breakups are hard and ice cream is delicious…. That being said, I think that it is time to start looking at breakups in a bit of a different light. Sure, sobbing, crying, Read more…

Don’t Open Your Presents Before Christmas

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In 1994, there was no choice but to wait. I remember how the world was rocked when a new technology began to shorten the distance between people, making communication easier and more instant. Three words changed everything: Dial-Up Internet. Oh yeah, I have vivid memories of waiting just a few short minutes to connect to the World Wide Web. The Read more…

Looking for Love in all the Right Places

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Every day we’re bombarded with messages about what promises to satisfy us—pleasure, food, technology—you name it! We want it all, and we want it now. Ultimately, the only thing that will satisfy us is love. We’re made for love, but if we expect the world to satisfy our deepest cravings, we’ll always hunger for more. Our God-given desire for love Read more…

Average Love or Epic Love

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“I don’t want average love. I want the epic love story. If people waited for God, He would do more than you could believe.” – Gianna Jessen, abortion survivor These words that Gianna spoke should be taken seriously by anyone who wants a love that is more than average. Why do we settle? Why do many people today settle for Read more…

What NOT to say if you’re single

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I sat at the foot of the bed with crossed arms and my mind made up while I ugly-cried: “I will never meet another guy who likes me.” I was 20 and mildly dramatic and my path—one I briefly walked with a blue-eyed, black-haired bass player—had been pulled out from under me. By text message. On New Year’s Day. Single, and I didn’t Read more…

Why Prince Charming is a lie, but real men aren’t!

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I LOVE the song ‘Lead Me’ by Sanctus Real, but I can’t listen to it without getting emotional. My friend and I cried to each other over the phone when we first heard it. Why? Because it hits a sore spot. It hits that wound in all of our hearts that bleeds the phrase “how come there are no real Read more…

The Dating Game

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A few weeks ago, I was at the gym with a friend when I saw a guy who I was certain I recognized but couldn’t decide where from. Good-looking, dark hair, athletic build, training with the university boxing team. There was no denying he was attractive. Then it dawned on me where I’d seen him before. Every Sunday he rushes Read more…

Is it time to take a dating fast?

woman in summer park

A year ago I made a decision that changed my life. I ended a destructive relationship, and I’ve never looked back. But I learned something very important very quickly—I learned that I had absolutely no clue who I was! I’d had two long term relationships since I was 16, and I’d forgotten what it meant to not be part of Read more…

Rediscovering Courtship

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Dating, “talking,” seeing someone, going out—these are all titles that we use to describe our romantic relationships with others. One word that is hardly used anymore is “courting” and I completely understand why. The word just sounds so old-fashioned and boring and it almost brings on the gag reflex for most young adults… myself included. After hearing the term used Read more…

Why I don’t date men who are ‘willing’ to save sex for marriage.

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“There’s something I need to tell you,” I said to a man on his couch in a Tampa apartment. He—then in his late 20′s and interested in me—nodded, and waited for me to say it. I, then in my early 20′s, breathed in before I did: “I’m saving sex for marriage.” I breathed out while he silently processed what I had said. Then Read more…

Commitment-Phobia

Portrait of young couple holding paper question mark and looking at on another

Many of us have gone through the process of checking event invites on Facebook. And sometimes, there’s an invite to that one party you just don’t want to attend. But, you want something to do Friday night. So, wanting to keep all options open—in case nothing better comes along—you click “maybe attending.” No commitment, no accountability, and if you have Read more…

Three Reasons to Wait Before You Flirt or Date

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You’ve probably heard of the Stanford marshmallow experiment. In the ’60s and ’70s, Walter Mischel—then a psychologist at Stanford University—put one preschooler at a time at a desk on which he had placed a bell and a couple marshmallows or other treats equally tough for a kid to resist. “The researcher told each child that he had to leave, but that when he returned, she could Read more…

Meet the Parents

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Meet The Parents Back in “5½ Soul-Crushing Traps To Avoid While Dating” I wrote about selfishness. I’d like to think that article cured the world of it’s selfishness, and we’re one hundred per cent selfless now. But I know that’s not true. I struggle with selfishness every day, and you probably do, too. So we have to keep working on Read more…

The most important thing to do while you’re single

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A stack of save-the-dates and wedding invitations covers a corner of my desk at home. Within the next eight months, five more of my friends and their significant others will have wed, while I—now nearly 29—will have not. That I might witness all their vows without a date doesn’t bother me at all as I write this. That doesn’t mean that how single I am has Read more…

30 Day Modesty Challenge

Shopping woman trying clothes

Challenge time, beautiful ladies of the Lord! In our culture nowadays it seems that it is much easier for us to dress immodestly than modestly. So here’s my challenge… Dress modestly for 30 days. Instagram it with the hashtag #30daymodestychallenge . (Yes… take some selfies. No judgement) Pray about it and see what happens! Question time… Why did I decide Read more…

Four keys to finding love (for men)

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Even though I am a man, I find it much more difficult to coach men instead of women in the area of love. Learning lessons about love and manhood requires a certain amount of self-reflection. Learning to be a man who loves requires sitting at the cross and learning from the King, who both created us as men and embodied Read more…

The Single Most Important Thing You’ll Ever Do Together

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Put yourself in Teresa’s place. Here’s this awkward young man who finally managed to ask her out, which obviously took just about the last milligram of his courage. But she’s just started dating him, and now he’s clearly gearing up to ask for something more. What’s it going to be? Finally, he manages to say it: “Could we…um…pray together?” She Read more…

Emotional Chastity: Is That Even a Real Thing?

Woman hands guesses on pink chamomile , isolated on white

Marc Barns of Bad Catholic recently wrote a post that included his dislike of the phrase “emotional chastity.” I read the article. I read the comments. I thought about commenting. Then I decided to just write an entire post. As someone who gives talks on what one would consider the topic of emotional chastity, I couldn’t help but respond to clarify Read more…

Four keys to finding love (for women)

Erica Lindeman & Brandon Davis Wedding

A little over a year ago, my wife and I gave birth to our third child—our first baby girl. While I love each of my children in their own unique way, I will say that having a daughter does something to you as a father. You worry more about your daughter. You feel an increased desire to begin collecting guns Read more…

Why should men propose on one knee?

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About a year ago, I traveled with a group of friends to Washington D.C. While there, we decided to visit the National Mall after dusk. We had heard that the area is spectacular with all of the evening night lights a glow. After walking around the pool to the various memorials, we concluded our tour at the Lincoln Memorial. I Read more…

Advice From The “Real” Love Experts (Part 1)

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Who doesn’t love Anna of Arendelle? It seems as if the epic tale of Frozen has captured an audience that ranges from age two to senior citizen. There is something about the combination of sacrificial love, passion, rejection, pain and joy that resonates in us… not to mention the songs are pretty catchy. I feel like Anna is so much Read more…

First a brother, not a lover

Jason and Meredith Austin Engagement Session

You meet someone new and find him attractive. You wonder if maybe, just maybe, this might be “The One.” You start to look for any sign of affection in their behavior towards you, and become mildly flirtatious in your own behavior. We’ve all been there! There’s no physical contact, no premature declaration of love, nothing obviously inappropriate in your relationship. Read more…

5½ Soul-Crushing Traps To Avoid While Dating

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No one can resist a numbered list, right? Every magazine at the supermarket checkout counter is full of numbered lists—The Eight Things Your Man Wishes You Knew About Basketball, or Fourteen Super-foods That Melt the Blues Away. Every Web site that wants high traffic is practically a numbered list of numbered lists—Fifteen Celebrity Hairstyles We Love to Hate, or The Read more…

The Lost Art of Discernment

Studio shot of a young woman choosing between a healthy and unhealthy diet

I smiled at the face on my computer’s screen—a MySpace profile pic of a Christian boy with bright eyes and a bass guitar. He was 21 and part of a band made up of a handful of my friends. I was 19 and had seen enough to come to a quick conclusion: I should date him. We texted and talked, Read more…

How My Prayers Transformed My Husband-To-Be

Blonde Young Woman

Katie’s story I was 17 when I had the life-changing opportunity to experience the program now known as Franciscan LEAD. This was the week I fell in love. This love had a name and a face and was more indescribable than anything I had ever experienced. It was Jesus who captured my heart and became the first Love of my Read more…

Why you should pray for your future spouse

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“Pray for your future spouse.” It’s a beautiful phrase which often serves as a reminder to entrust everything to God – including our love lives. But more often than not we hear the phrase in the low points of singleness, when we’re encouraged to ask God to bring us the spouse we long for. The problem with that is we Read more…