I was at an amusement park with my kids recently, where I observed a guy and a girl holding hands. The couple couldn’t have been older than 15.The girl led the guy up to a booth where the goal was to knock over a stack of bottles with a baseball. If you knock over the bottles, you win a big stuffed teddy bear. I watched as the girl looked up at her boyfriend, smiled at him and said, “Will you win me a prize?” The boy took out $5, handed it to her and replied, “you do it.” That was not what this girl had in mind. The girl pleaded with him for a second, but it was no use. She ended up – half-heartedly – throwing the ball herself and left with no prize. The girl was disappointed, the boy was clueless and I was dumbfounded. Someone needed to throw a ball at this boy’s head. This girl had no interest in playing a silly carnival game or winning a big, teddy bear. She wanted this boy to win her heart–and he had failed miserably.
When it comes to love and relationships, I think young men have lost their way. I cannot tell you how many amazing and beautiful young women ask me, “Where do I find a good man?” I never have a good answer for them. Young men have no confidence in leading a woman (unless he is leading her to his bedroom). I once heard of a priest who gave a homily on a college campus where he started out by asking, “How many girls in this Church have been asked out on a date this week?’ After surveying the handful of hands that went up, the priest spent the rest of the homily scolding the young men in the room for not asking girls out on a date.
Why is it so important that young men learn how to lead a woman? Consider these points:
Women want to be led to Heaven.
St. Paul said to husbands, “Love your wives as Christ loves the Church.” Just as Christ invites the Church to “follow him” to Heaven, so do women look to men to be led to Heaven. Seldom will you find a woman that prefers to initiate an invitation for a first date, a marriage proposal, or any other courtship within a relationship. God created men with the purpose of guiding a relationship toward Him, and men today are dropping the ball in this regard.
A man’s own security provides strength and encouragement for women.
In many cases, guys will say that they don’t approach women because of fear of rejection. That fear is what turns women off in the first place. When a man knows where he is going and what he is pursuing (Christ) he will not live approach a potential relationship with fear. Women want men who are secure in who they are and how God made them.
A good man provides witness to others.
One of the reasons why young men are so lost in a relationship is because there are not enough real men to provide a real example of Christian manhood. The problem of manhood will never be solved until more men step up and answer the call to lead. Until then, women will constantly be asking the question, “where are all the real men?”
Everett Fritz works in Catholic Youth Ministry and enjoys speaking on the topics of chastity, discipleship, and youth evangelization. He is the Content Development Coordinator for YDisciple at the Augustine Institute and holds an MA in Pastoral Theology with concentrations in Catechesis and Evangelization from the Augustine Institute. He also holds a BA in Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville. Everett resides in Denver with his wife Katrina and their three children.