Average Love or Epic Love

“I don’t want average love. I want the epic love story. If people waited for God, He would do more than you could believe.” – Gianna Jessen, abortion survivor

These words that Gianna spoke should be taken seriously by anyone who wants a love that is more than average.

Why do we settle?

Why do many people today settle for love in a relationship that is merely average? Some people are attracted to this kind of “love” because it is “easy: Put yourself out there. Get a guy/girl. Yay! Now you can say you are in a relationship! If I had a dime for every time I have observed this happening though my various life experiences, I would be a rich girl. I think one reason why this kind of “love” attracts so many is because we are a culture that wants things instantaneously.

Fast isn’t necessarily always best!

We have become more than just a “fast food” culture. We want “fast fulfillment,” “fast success,” and “fast love.” Nothing illustrates this better than the hook-up culture that prevails on so many college campuses across this nation and the world. Young hearts want love, a love that will fulfill and satisfy them. However, what so many fail to realize is that the “love” that they seek, and sometimes find will not fulfill them unless it is authentic and deeper than average. St. Pope John Paul II said, “Take away from love the fullness of self-surrender, the completeness of personal commitment, and what remains will be a total denial and negation of it.” This is the essence of the chronic problems that young people encounter when searching for love. The reason that the love so many people experience is average is because it is devoid of self-surrender and commitment.

Epic Exists.

“If people waited for God, He would do more than you could believe.” God is the author of life. He is the author of love. What better person could there possibly be to write your love story? Something that is often the culprit in people finding epic love is our urge to want to be in control. Just as how we want things fast, with the snap of a finger, we also want to have control of everything. If we really want epic love, we as a society need to let go. Let go of our wants, our desires, our timetables, and our stipulations. By letting go, we are acknowledging our flawed human tendencies and recognizing God’s sovereign power. We are not the creators of epic love. God is!

“Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.”
– Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ
_____________________________

headshot2Rachel del Guidice is a student at Franciscan University of Steubenville working towards a major in Mass Communications with a concentration in journalism. This year, she is working as the Public Relations director of Franciscan University’s Students for Life club and also writes for The Troubadour, FUS’s student newspaper. She loves God, family, old and new friends and ice cream (in that order!). Connect with her on Twitter at @LRacheldG.

 

23 Comments

  1. What if you had an epic love and the first. And It´s was wrong… I would to know the average love??

    By Dorian | 3 years ago Reply
  2. I wish this poem was around 40 years ago. I love my children, but my marriage not so much. My husband a good man, but we really we’re not meant for each other. But took our vows seriously and stay together for better or worse. My faith in God has gotten me through each day. For that I am greatful.

    By Janice | 3 years ago Reply
    • Janice, thanks for your post. Thank you for your humility in sharing your story and thus letting others learn from it. But I wish you joy & peace, know that I am praying for you! <3

      By Johanna | 3 years ago Reply
  3. Thanks for the to-the-point and beautifully written article, Rachel 🙂 I’ve shared it to my friendship groups and other friends!

    By Quyen | 3 years ago Reply
  4. AMAZING post Rachel! Anything worth doing is hard. I try to keep this in mind in everyday activities.

    By Colleen | 3 years ago Reply
  5. hello i am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. But my boyfriend and I does not have the same religion, I am a Christian and his Buddhist but we love each other very much.
    people and articles that i read from Chastity project says find a partner who is a Christian and out life will be complete. Follow God’s plan and God always wants the best for us. i feel that i am very happy and is the best boyfriend i know.
    i want to keep this relationship so much but as a Christian is it right to date a different religion?

    By anita | 3 years ago Reply
    • Hey Anita!

      This is certainly a tough situation. All I can say is pray, pray, pray!!!! I know many people who have found it difficult to be in a marriage when their spouse is not a Christian. Pray that the Holy Spirit will touch your boyfriend’s heart so that you may together be able to experience beautiful unity in Christ. The Lord wants the best for you, and he will not lead you the wrong way! Just pray for his guidance and will!

      Know I will be praying for you both as well!!!

      God bless,

      Rachel del Guidice

      By Rachel del Guidice | 3 years ago Reply
  6. Its an amazing post Rachel. But sometimes I find it hard believe that there is a perfect guy. If I am faithful and spiritually strong , why should I also expect my husband to be the same? Or should I keep waiting for the epic love even when I find myself growing old? Sometimes I think articles about chastity set the bar too high .what if I never find a guy who loves Jesus more than me? Sorry if I offended anyone but these are my genuine questions which I like them to be answered.

    By Lucy | 3 years ago Reply
    • Hello Lucy!

      I hear you completely. I have asked all the same questions. I believe the secret to finding “epic” love is just praying for God’s will and being open to it. We as humans are not perfect, so neither will our spouses. However, God’s blessing on a relationship is what makes the love that comes out of that relationship special. It won’t be perfect, but it will be epic.

      You are in my prayers.

      God bless,

      Rachel del Guidice

      By Rachel del Guidice | 3 years ago Reply
    • Hey Lucy, I think Rachel’s advice is very helpful. Also, if you feel that marriage is your vocation that means God has a SPECIFIC man he wants for you (and he knows you will want him too) so pray for this man. Wherever he is. He may need your prayers so he will fall in love with Christ BEFORE he meets you. Your prayers can transform his heart. So pray for him daily (don’t just pray that he’ll find you– but also that he will find God) so that way when you meet he will be a man who will lead you closer to Christ. 🙂

      By Michelle | 3 years ago Reply
    • Lucy–do not settle. It is worth waiting for a God-loving man. He will not be perfect as none of us are, but he will be awesome. if you are serious about your faith in Jesus Christ you will need a husband who will help you on the path to heaven and any of your children. I’m speaking from experience…and having witnessed many who feel they are in it alone trying to raise their kids with faith. They are out there, maybe a little harder to find. God will guide you.

      By Sandy | 3 years ago Reply
    • Thank you Rachel, Michelle and Sandy for your kind replies. I really needed to hear them . I m going to start praying for my husband as I continue to pursue chastity.

      By Lucy | 3 years ago Reply
      • You’re welcome! I’m so excited that you will be praying for him! Perhaps pray a 54 – Day Rosary Novena with the intention of helping your future spouse (whoever he is, wherever he is) grow in all the virtues. But be careful to discern wisely while you pray because sometimes novenas make us think we found “the one” when we really need to get to know them better.

        By Michelle | 3 years ago Reply
  7. This was definitely refreshing to read. Love and waiting for it have been a reoccurring theme in my life especially recently. I’m still working at the “letting go” thing, but since I know I have to I will. I guess that’s where faith and trust in The Lord comes in. Still praying about it 🙂
    Thank you for the read!!

    By Parris | 3 years ago Reply
  8. Excellent & Striking post!! I am going to be honest – in me it brought forth more than one painful sigh – I found my heart asking what then to do in the meantime… Follow the first and second commandments as best I can through grace and persevering trust in God was the answer that came to mind… Okay yes… God is love and we are all made through love and for love and love suffers long.. +The Cross the only true option to embrace in trust and faith and the hope of resurrection. The cross is the yes to real and true love.

    Without real deep and true trust in God this is agony.. Society tells us guys, after all, that this would be laughable imaginings.. That we can’t love truly, that is via truly denying ourselves,… That relationship is gonna really be on our terms.. Society lies to us all! and O the pain because the opposite is true. I think this is why the vast majority of us guys out there forget that innermost personal and deep seeded dream of theirs, because we are told that we can’t be that man that we thought was the truth of ourselves and our heart in it’s boldness and desire.. The core of who we felt and suspected we are..! Relationship, real relationship, exists only on the terms of truth and love. Love seeks not itself but for the beloveds own life.

    Maybe it seems no one at all believes in us guys when we look at society and agreeing with society is certainly the path of least resistance but as this post points out – nothing will be more dissatisfying than forgetting the truth of who we are and because that isn’t who we are, because it is a betrayal of who we are to not pursue that epic true and selfless love, because us guys were made to be sons if God – because God made you and loves you right now – I tell you here that through God’s own grace, faithfulness power and love I believe in you, I believe in your dignity and I ask you not to deny the reality of yourself as God made you. He trusted us with the care(custody) of ourselves when we were given freewill so we can freely love. We are made from and for (selfless) love and the sooner and the more we accept and embrace this the happier we’ll be. Empower us Lord to say YES to love. Jesus, lord my God I Trust in Thee – have mercy on me and form me (all of us) according to your will. Father me my Lord and God. Amen. Thank you Rachel for your post! 🙂 It has given me much to think about. May you be blest!!! AMEN+

    p.s. I hope I have made sense if not please feel free to remove this comment – I can see K didn’t even attempt at good grammar or sentence structure . Thanks.

    By Andrew | 3 years ago Reply
    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Andrew! It is encouraging to see reflections from a male perspective. Prayers & peace!

      By Johanna | 3 years ago Reply
    • Great thoughts Andrew!!!

      Prayers and blessings!!!

      Rachel del Guidice

      By Rachel del Guidice | 3 years ago Reply
  9. So vital.God bless those that are blessed in this way.

    By dee Woodson | 3 years ago Reply
  10. Great article. I love what you wrote about letting go of expectations.

    By Kellie | 3 years ago Reply
  11. You read my mind! thank you! greetings from Mexico!

    By Adriana | 3 years ago Reply
    • Thank you Adriana!

      May God bless you abundantly!!!

      Rachel del Guidice

      By Rachel del Guidice | 3 years ago Reply
  12. This is such a great article and I strongly believe God has a plan for me and my future husband. As I grow older It is becoming harder to discern if the men I meet are for real or just a facade. Since they know my position and my faith they all now present themselves as a great catholic guy… what are the signs or questions to ask to help determine their authenticity? Again I am not getting younger and at least their catholic…

    By Constance | 3 years ago Reply
  13. Wow, amazing article. For a girl who was a hard time being patient, this is just what I needed. Thank you!

    By Kate | 3 years ago Reply

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