What Kanye West Teaches us about Chastity

If you’ve ever heard of the Beatles, then you’ve probably heard of Paul McCartney. If you’ve ever heard of Paul McCartney, then you’ve probably heard that he just got his big break from some artist named Kanye West. Last week, there were several funny tweets that were posted by young fans who saw Kanye and Paul perform together, but they didn’t know who Paul McCartney was. They declared on their twitter that Kanye had just given some guy named Paul his big break.

The problem is that this description of events is backwards. If the Beatles had not broken the music barrier in North America, would it have ever evolved as it did? Probably not.

However, this “trending news story” throws into the spotlight the ever-important matter called “objective truth.” If absolute truth did not exist, then indeed we could say Kanye gave McCartney his big break. However, absolute truth does exist… and it forces us to order things appropriately, reflecting absolute truth.

Enough about music, let’s talk about how this applies to us:

If you are like me, you were raised in a world that promoted “notches in the bedpost” to be a means by which to measure the happiness in life.

But does it work?

A hookup involves two components: temporary union followed by permanent separation. It’s that simple. Even “Friends With Benefits” is simply a prolonged version of this same reality. In fact, a recent study showed that only 9.8% of those involved in a “Friends With Benefits” arrangement eventually entered an actual dating relationship with the other person. Furthermore, although 83% of college women prefer a traditional romantic relationship to a hookup, they were twice as likely to hook up with a guy as to go on a first date. However, only 20% reported being satisfied after a hookup.

With such a low success rate to get the happiness we are looking for, why do we do it, and pretend it fulfills us?

The reason is that our culture is addicted to the worship of the body. We try to validate ourselves by means of physical gratification, and we often don’t know another way.

But there is another way. Many of us are today choosing to live this other way.

Instead of saying Kanye helped McCartney (or saying that lust will bring us happiness), we can instead be honest with ourselves if we put things into an order that reflects truth: McCartney helped Kanye (chastity brings happiness). This is logic. Heck, just think about it: are you happy when you let yourself get used as means to fulfill someone else’s conquest? Meanwhile, it is the virtue of chastity that frees us to love.

If you doubt what I’m saying, just ask anyone who is immersed in the hook-up culture who is trying to get out. Someone is always hurting in the hook-up world (and sometimes the pain gets drowned in more hook-ups). Those are the casualties of war, so to speak. Don’t we deserve better than that from our culture?

Starting over

If you would like to get out of the hook-up culture, you can (it’s never too late). Surround yourself with people who value purity and are living examples that purity can make sexuality holy, regardless of the past. A heart of purity can make you whole again, and give you that sense of self-worth that we are all seeking.

If the hook-up culture hasn’t given you a happy heart, perhaps it is time to open your heart to purity.


Hudson2Hudson Byblow is a teacher and Catholic speaker who lives in Saskatchewan. His passion is helping others find their way to a deeper relationship with Christ. He likes old cars, traveling, and long walks on the beach (and anything else to do with sunshine). He can be reached at hudsonab80@hotmail.com.‎

Kanye West image via Flickr, CC 2.0.


  1. Well spoken

    By Laura | 2 years ago Reply
  2. It took me a while to understand that analogy, but brilliantly written!

    By Anna | 2 years ago Reply
    • lol same! ditto!

      By ben | 2 years ago Reply
  3. Let me talk to you about this guy Hudson and the people he affiliates with. In a time I once considered that I was broken, Hudson and others were there. Supporting me to disown my sexuality. Hudson wanted me to go to his church but I felt I wasn’t ready. All of this so called “encouragement” they gave me was nothing more than homophobia wrapped in a prayer which is even worse because it made me feel like I had to live up to expectations which simply weren’t natural to me. My feelings became very strong when I tried to entertain the idea that God didn’t want me embracing my sexuality. But I felt broken and dirty.
    I later cut off all communication to social media, because of how awful I felt that I hooked up with another man. I couldn’t itch the feelings I had and the more I denied my sexuality, the stronger they became. I took a bunch of Gravol and was unconscious for months. I woke up a month ago and am trying to find out where I went wrong. A nurse who cared for me while I was in the hospital fell in love with me as I got my strength back who is a man. I didn’t know what to think while I was under and he whispered sweet things into my ear. I was able to still ponder everything I was hearing and when I woke up he was there. I could see him and I fell for him too.
    Nothing in my life has felt better than having Tom in my life and whether or not this is a sin, I’ve finally come to understand the term “nothing else matters” when you’ve met someone so precious to you. I’ve come to understand what it means to feel a calling from God, and this is my path to shine for God. I won’t ever do something like commit suicide again now that I know how this feels and that every moment of it is so precious.
    Hudson and his friends need to break free of this religious darkness that surrounds them and is toxic to everyone they “encourage”. I almost died and although my parents aren’t fully supportive, they respect my decision I am making. I’m pretty sure my Dad supports me but he just doesn’t want to say it due to the fear that clouds the minds of toxic political Christians.
    I know that some people disown their sexuality because they were abused as a kid and I’m not pointing any fingers. But if that is what has impacted you so badly to believe this hogwash, then obviously it’s a place of darkness and not of stepping into the light with God. Do not let the darkness of your past cloud the beauty of our God given intimacy of love.
    I will never look back to that path of destruction, Thanks Hudson.

    By Jonathan Newborn | 2 years ago Reply

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