Single . . . and satisfied?

I’ll be totally honest; I’m a 20 year old who has never had a serious relationship. When I was younger, part of me was ashamed of that. I went to a huge public school where being in a relationship defined a person’s social standing. I wanted a serious relationship so I went on a few dates here and there, but nothing ever came out of them. It was frustrating and hard.

I’m a dreamer. For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted 7 kids to stay home with so I could raise them to be wonderful holy kids with a strong faith and foundation. I wanted to be that Catholic family I saw in church with the dozens of children whose parents embody marriage and the wonder of the sacrament. I love seeing a couple whose relationship is so rooted in God that you see His beauty in them. I see it and want it for myself. I go crazy thinking about it and planning for it. But, in order to have that beautiful sacrament, one element is missing: the husband.

I keep telling myself I’m young, I’ve got time to make me feel better about the fact that I have never had this serious relationship. Finally, I took these longings to the Lord and one day, while messing around on Laudate, a Catholic app on my phone, He revealed to me a prayer titled: “Be Satisfied with Me.”

Not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.

It’s a beautiful prayer. I read it and something within me clicked; if I want a holy marriage rooted in Christ, if I wanted to fall in love, I first need to find love in the Lord. I had the faith in the Lord that his will be done, I had hope that I would find a vocation that would satisfy me for the rest of my life. I just lacked love, the love for God.

I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow Me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

At first this really frustrated me. I thought about how people get married all the time without loving God first. They figure it out along the way, or they don’t. Why can’t I be one of those people? Since then, I’ve realized, that’s not what I want. I want a marriage that will last; a marriage that people will look at and want for themselves because of the pure unconditional love that my spouse and I will have for each other.

Only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with Me.

I pray the rosary every day, I try to keep up with the Liturgy of the Hours, and I go to daily Mass when I’m in school. How do I fall in love with the Lord and not just go through the motions Well, I’ve gotten into this habit of just telling him, “I love you, Lord.” It’s something I never said enough so now when I see a crucifix, a sunset that takes my breath away, a beautiful marriage, or I see or hear something that makes me think of beauty or love, I tell Him how I love him. So far, I am falling deeper in love with Him.

It’s hard and frustrating being patient and waiting for “Mr. Right”. I’m lucky, I haven’t had to kiss any toads before finding my prince (knock on wood). I’m okay with waiting, because I know that the Lord has something in store for me far greater than I could ever imagine or dream. For now, I have to learn how to be satisfied with Him.

Know that I love you utterly. I AM God.
Believe it and be satisfied

_______________________________

hanHannah Crites is a junior Communications Arts major (with a concentration in Journalism) and Theology minor at Franciscan University of Steubenville. She originally hails from Denver, Colorado and has written for numerous publications and blogs, hoping to someday work as a Catholic Youth speaker and author. She enjoys drinking coffee (particularly in unhealthy quantities), playing the guitar, writing, long walks on the beach, talking in a horrible British accent, and the word “discombobulate”. Connect with her through Twitter (@hannah_crites) and Facebook. Check out more of what she has written here.

34 Comments

  1. Oh my goodness… it’s almost as though *I* wrote this article. This articulates exactly, almost word for word, my situation, how I feel, and what I have realized lately and have been trying to work on. Thank you so much for this, it is exactly what I needed today. Now I’m going to find that prayer on Laudate… I’ve never noticed it before, but now I’m going to say it all the time!

    By Stephanie | 2 years ago Reply
  2. I need to learn to be satisfied with Him and Him alone too. Its a long journey for me and probably for a lot of people but hopefully I’ll only get better. Great post.

    By Janique | 2 years ago Reply
  3. Hannah, I absolutely love this post! I am also in college…almost 20…and feel that marriage and the mom life is my calling. I see so many people just so in love. I am going to 2, maybe 3, weddings this year, and none of them are mine- but of course I am thrilled for the couples and pray for them!! It is hard because I realize that some people have what I hope for someday, and they might not have been so crazy about it as I am. But loving God first is definitely the way to go! I have moments of struggle, but I am learning to grow in my faith and love for Him more and more everyday! And I know the wait will be worth it!
    I thank you so much for sharing this because it is exactly how I have been feeling for the last year or so. I just love how God places people or situations or posts in your life as a little reminder that He is here and loves us and wants us to know something!

    Thank you again, and I am praying for you!!

    Mytala

    By Mytala | 2 years ago Reply
  4. Thank you so much for this wonderful post, Hannah! It is exactly what I needed, especially the prayer, at this point in my life. 🙂

    By Theresa | 2 years ago Reply
  5. Very good text! With sure God wants and we need that him be the center! Congratulations!

    By Vanessa Veloso | 2 years ago Reply
  6. That was a beautiful article and I can relate and also agree with everything that you wrote. I am not a 20 year old that hasn’t experienced love, but I am a 34 year old single mother of three. I have kissed plenty of frogs. More than I’d like to admit. I wish that I had been more patient and sought God first. My ex spouse and I went to a class that was titled marriage takes three. The speaker said that marriage is like a triangle. You and your spouse are at the base of the triangle and God is the peak. The closer each of you grow to God the closer that you grow to each other. It makes total sense and it touches on what you wrote. Keep up the good work! 🙂

    By Daffney Edwards | 2 years ago Reply
  7. It’s hard. I know. I am 35, divorced, annulled, and trying to figure out my vocation in life. I don’t know if I should get married again or if I should become a priest. I go to Confession weekly and I have a devotion to St Joseph. I wish I could go to daily Mass but my job makes it hard for me to do that.

    Because I work an hour away from my home, I pray on my way to work. In case I am to get married again, I pray The Chaplet of Divine Mercy everyday on my way to work for “my future wife wherever she may be.”

    I must confess I am a bit of a hypocrite though because when things are going bad at work, I say things like, “Man, I can’t wait till I get rid of this debt so I can go into the seminary.” And when I hear my co-workers tell me the problems they are having at home, I say things like, “I am so glad I don’t have children” (even though I have been quoted as telling them that I want 9 babies so I can have my family baseball team) or when they complain about the lack of sleep they got from the previous night, I say things like “Not me, I get all the sleep I want because that’s the joy of just having to worry about me and me alone.” It is prideful, I know (like I said before, “I go to Confession weekly”).

    The truth is I really don’t know what I in life, but I do know that I want more of God and His Will. I will be praying for you Hannah. Please pray for me also. Thank you. May The Blessed Mother lead you to your future husband and give you special protection on this her birthday and feast day. And may your Guardian Angel keep you safe from evil men who seek to do you wrong. Amen.

    By Andy | 2 years ago Reply
    • Very nice comment! God sees that you love Him and the faith, the trust you put in Him will not go unrewarded. Each time in our life is given to us for a reason. To quote my favorite movie: “I wish none of this had ever happened!” (Frodo) “So do all who live to see such times but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.” (Gandalf). Continue to trust in God and listen to Him in the silence. He will not abandon you. I recommend the song “One Thing Remains” by Jesus Culture.
      Ps-people, pease pray for me that I make the right decision on whether or not I should enter the convent after school. Thanks 🙂

      By Olive | 2 years ago Reply
      • Certainly don’t go to convent! There are only a very few worthy women left and almost imposible to find them! Every head counts these days… Your children can go to convent…

        By Paul | 2 years ago Reply
  8. Thank you hannah For this article. When it appeared on facebook I thought it was a sort of “sign”. In fact,when I read the first sentences,I totally recognized myself in you. I’m eighteen years old and often dream to meet a man who firmly believes in God’s grace and love. I told my priest this intense desire to get married one day and to get to life kids and he said to me ” trust God… Completely… And let Him planning your life. He loves you!” I am really fallen in love with Jesus and every night,before falling asleep,i always say to Him ” i love you”, sincerely. This article really inspired me! Good luck and best wishes for everything in your life! 😀 PS: Sorry for my English.. I am Italian,i come from Rome! 🙂

    By Giulia | 2 years ago Reply
  9. I need to go find that prayer! I have lately been deepening my relationship with Jesus, and it’s so wonderful. I’m 26 and have never had a serious relationship, and I’ve come to terms with that. Just the other day, sitting in Mass, all of a sudden I had this realization and was overcome with peace…I finally felt in my heart the excitement over what/who God has planned for me. I lay it all at His feet.

    By Suzanne | 2 years ago Reply
  10. Hannah, if I could virtually hug you I would. This post is awesome and one that I myself feel like I could have written. (Actually I did write a blog concerning my satisfaction with being single not too long ago that I’ll send to you). I think you and I share the same brain.

    I too have sat in Adoration and just said, “Lord, I love you. I don’t say that enough, do I?”

    Until I recently fell in love with the Lord, I was not content in my single hood. Now? Oh boy am I ever happy. And let me tell you, when you’re 37 and a female and single and HAPPY about it, you get some pretty strange reactions. So girl, you enjoy this season of waiting for your beloved. If it is in Gods will that you be married, it will be done. Excited to see what else you write about on your journey!❤️

    By Michelle | 2 years ago Reply
    • Hannah, this is a beautifully written piece about the single life. Michelle, I am 38 yrs old and for the most part content w/ my single vocation. I feel like I could relate to you easily as well.
      God bless you and be w/ you all as you seek out your vocation in life.

      By Renee | 2 years ago Reply
  11. Right at this momemt, He has you exactly where he wants you 🙂
    God Bless

    By Stina | 2 years ago Reply
  12. This is so beautiful!! I absolutely love that prayer!! I had a similar situation coming into college, and the Lord really did have plans for me beyond my wildest dreams. The moment I said I was completely satisfied with Him as my Love, He allowed me to love another as well. You are so beautiful and your desire for true love is inspiring among our age group. I know God has such big plans for you 🙂

    By Kaylin | 2 years ago Reply
  13. I needed to hear this today. I’m 19, soon to be 20, and I am glad to find others who I can relate to! I go through seasons of spiritual highness and dryness. But I can never seem to keep the flame of God’s love burning within me. Right now I’m trying to build back up what I’ve let die. There is truly nothing like really loving the Lord and being satisfied with him. Thanks for sharing this!

    By Mary | 2 years ago Reply
  14. As a new college student, I have thought about this many times! However this is absolutely lovely to read, and the prayer is one I have committed to keeping. Thank you for sharing this and your experience, and I hope it will continue to uplift, provide hope and a new found love for God as it has for me. Thank you!

    By Sarah | 2 years ago Reply
  15. True!

    By jonelle | 2 years ago Reply
  16. I think not being in a serious relationship at such a young age is a good thing. Can you see yourself getting married in the next two years? For most college students, the answer is no; I read somewhere that only 9% of people are married by age 24. The “high school sweetheart” and “college sweetheart” are things of the past because the relationships usually do not last. Build strong friendships and get to know what you want in a future husband. Focus on getting your own life together before sharing it with someone else. Too many people have serious relationships at too young of an age, which almost certainly leads to sins against chastity. It’s better to be a little older and then you can seriously date because you’ll be able to marry that person. Dating as a teenager means it won’t be several years until marriage, which leads to disaster. Feelings grow over time and the longer two people are together, the more difficult it becomes to abstain. In the past, people would simply get married and start their families, but today we need to finish our schooling and get a good job before marriage.

    By Stephanie | 2 years ago Reply
  17. I am 47 and have never had a serious relationship. God’s timing is not our timing. As much as I long for the chance at a holy marriage, God has had other plans for me. I am still hopeful, though! I am told it’s never too late. We shall see.

    By Dianne Gustowski | 2 years ago Reply
  18. Hannah, I loved reading your article. I had very similar thoughts to you. I didn’t have my first relationship until I was 19. Not that I was never attracted to any of the boys in school, but even then I knew I wasn’t ready for marriage, so didn’t see the point in following up on it. That first relationship didn’t last long. He was an atheist and had very different ideas of what a relationship should involve. It did confirm for me how important it was to seek someone who shared my faith. I slaked my thirst for babies by babysitting for friends. Around 25, I decided I would test my religious vocation if I wasn’t married by 30. At the same time, I prayed a novena to St Philomena that I would meet my future husband within a year. And I did. He had just left the seminary after trying his vocation to the priesthood. We got married when I was 29 and have now been married for 15 years and have two wonderful children through adoption ( not the way I imagined growing our family, but obviously, God’s way).
    I had two other relationships before I met my husband, both with committed Catholics. I am so glad I never bought into the idea that you need to be in a relationship to have value, also that I didn’t have a whole heap of baggage to take into our marriage. It can be frustrating waiting, especially when all your friends are getting married, but God has someone in mind (maybe even himself 😉 ). Someone once told me to pray to St Joseph every day for your future spouse.

    By Andrea | 2 years ago Reply
  19. We have the same experience, and fooling around with Laudate was also what made me discover that prayer! It’s nice to know I’m/we’re not alone in this struggle (and great things come out of struggles, yeah?) 🙂

    By Isa | 2 years ago Reply
  20. Wow! Great article! 🙂 I now know that I’m not alone in this struggle. 😉

    Being in love with God should be of primary importance more than anything or anyone in this wold. Because it is in that love we shall discover our purpose and the fulfillment of that purpose would bring satisfaction to our lives. 🙂 And besides, if God wills that we are for marriage, our partners will just come at the right place and time. We just have to focus on what God wants us to do at the present moment and trust and beleive in Him who knows everything. Let us allow Him therefore to surprise us with His grace 😉

    By Francis | 2 years ago Reply
  21. This is what I’ve been thinking for a long time but needed to hear, I’m so glad I read it! I keep waiting and waiting and waiting for God to send me that perfect relationship, and I thought for a while it was almost within my reach, and then suddenly not. My heart, mind, and soul were shattered for months.

    I have no idea where He is leading me now with college, if I should move (eventually), or wait for a young man. Being in this time of testing and trial has given me the chance to basically do a trust fall with my life. It’s getting easier but is still hard learning to TRUST completely in the Lord, knowing He will give me joy and not let me suffer more than I can bear. Recently though, I took up saying “I love You” out loud, and Hannah is very right. It is a most wonderful thing to do!

    By Chris | 2 years ago Reply
  22. Today it is difficult to find a serious guy for dating and marriage. I am Brazilian and here is difficult.
    I also never dated, but I see that could have been more and God protected me.

    By Maria | 2 years ago Reply
  23. Today it is difficult to find a serious guy for dating and marriage
    I am Brazilian and here is difficult
    I also never dated, but I see that could have had more disappointments and God protected me

    By Maria | 2 years ago Reply
  24. Thank you so much for sharing these feelings with us! I ‘m also a dreamer I dream about the same things of marriage and a big family, just like you! lol
    Lately, I have learned to Dream with God first! To dream of making Him happy, about answer the things God ask me to do. Like my own conversion, and about living a holy life as He wants me to live. Dream about heaven and paradise first! God calls us to be Saints in first place…
    Your post really helps me! I want to love God!

    I’m brasilian, and I really want to share your post with my girlfriends but they don’t speak english! I’ll try to translate it for them!

    By Cecilia | 2 years ago Reply
  25. Wow! Hands down, this post is really cute
    I’m surprised with the words:
    “I know that the Lord has something in store for me far greater than I could ever imagine or dream. For now, I have to learn how to be satisfied with Him.”

    By Mariah | 2 years ago Reply
  26. Hey that’s a wait really worth for..
    But remember and get ready to face the tests that precede all divine invaluable gifts. And you will be ever joyful and satisfied to the brim by His divine will for you..God bless you…Be that true inspiration even more…

    By Nobil | 2 years ago Reply
  27. I feel for this girl because she’s grown up with the Catholic ideals of what a relationship is, but no mention of the beautiful reality. Triangulating God into a relationship is a terrific way to put distance between yourself and another. Atheist couples have long lasting meaningful healthy relationships. What exactly is she saying here?

    By Rachel | 2 years ago Reply
  28. Hey this is a really good article. I’ve discerned that God is calling me to the single vocation. After looking on the blogs for some inspiration I seen your title of blog “single” and I knew I had to read it. Being a male feeling called to single vocation isn’t easy but good articles like yours give inspiration. God bless you and thank you much! J.M.J.

    By Marino | 2 years ago Reply
  29. I wish more people knew and heard this. I am 17, single, and actually happy. I mean all the single women lament on Valentine’s day of how they don’t have a guy. Why mourn when you can celebrate your singlehood and freedom?

    By Jennifer | 2 years ago Reply
  30. Hannah, this article is exactly what I have to say. I am 46 years old and still seeking for Mr Right. I’ve dated a lot of “Christian” men but never found that person Ive been longing for. One time I went to the Blessed Sacrament and prayed this prayer on Laudate. It gives me hope Thanks and God Bless You! Veronica

    By Veronica | 2 years ago Reply
  31. Hey, Hannah! Reading this article was like you’re penning my thoughts. Thank you for putting them in words so precisely. So far, I’m slowly but surely discovering myself through Him and the road is very rough so far but it is so worth it. I’m also telling myself to let God and let go because we tend to want to be in control of everything that is happening in our lives but I found out that God’s way is still the best.

    By Angelenedeep | 2 years ago Reply

Leave a Reply