I Wish I Knew The Value Of A Kiss

Your first kiss: Whether it was absolutely magical or horribly awkward and embarrassing, it’s a moment that stays with you forever. I remember those late night sleepover talks with my girlfriends growing up, discussing and wondering what it would be like when it finally happened. What do you do with your head or your hands? How do you breathe with some guy’s face on yours? What if I’m bad at it?? Even worse, how do you know if you’re bad at it?!

I wanted my first kiss to be the most romantic moment of my life, like in all the movies. It would be so perfect my foot would just “pop” like in The Princess Diaries. The guy would be absolutely in love with me and I would re-tell how great it was forever.

If only I had held out for my prince charming to show up and sweep me off my feet. I grew impatient as high school went on and the guys were just plain immature. I became embarrassed that I hadn’t just gotten that first kiss “over with,” like everyone else in the world (or so it seemed).

My first kiss was nothing magical, but it was something I will remember forever. It was the moment I realized that to the boy that kissed me, I was nothing but a body. I felt dirty and used. To make these feelings go away, I kissed as many frogs as I could to show that I was in control and not them.

I wish I had known then what I know now. A kiss is not something to get “over with.” It isn’t to be handed out like a party favor to the cutest guy or girl who pays attention to you when you go out. It isn’t something that doesn’t matter and can be given to just anyone.

I wish I had known the value of a kiss.

A kiss is a symbol of love, affection, and giving part of yourself to another.

When I get a kiss from my beautiful little niece, I am overwhelmed with how much I love and want to protect this tiny little girl. When I kiss a friend in need of comfort on the forehead I’m showing them that I care and I’m there for them. When I kiss the man I love, I’m giving him a sign of affection, admiration, and attraction.

I spent years battling or flat out ignoring this truth. I honestly couldn’t tell you the number of guys that I kissed—it didn’t matter to me at the time. But once I found the man who showed me how treasured a kiss should be, I wished more than anything I could go back.

The bible says, “Greet one another with a holy kiss” (Romans 16:16). There is nothing wrong with kissing; it’s our human frailty that brings sin into the mix. I’m one of kissing’s biggest fans, but we all know when kissing goes from innocent and sweet to the opposite! Recognizing where you need to draw the line and more importantly sticking to it even when it’s difficult, makes you stronger, leads you in a life of purity, and guards your heart.

One of my best friends is a beautiful young college woman still waiting for that first kiss. Despite anyone else’s mocking that she hasn’t “gotten it over with yet” at her age, she has held strong. Sure, any day of the week any guy would jump at the chance to kiss her. But she knows her worth. She knows she deserves nothing but the best and for that I applaud her. I wish I had been so strong.

Don’t fall prey to society’s lies and give your kisses away to someone who doesn’t know your worth. Just because you’ve failed in the past or slipped up, doesn’t mean you can’t have another chance to do better and strive for a good and virtuous life. Chastity requires self-control, knowledge of self worth, and the courage to live out the truth. Kissing is a beautiful sign of your affection. Who deserves this part of your soul?

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meganMegan Finegan recently graduated from Benedictine College with a double major in Psychology and Criminology and a minor in Sociology. She is passionate about seeking to prevent injustice and help those victimized by it. As a 911 Dispatcher, she is able to make a career out of her passion to live in service to others. She loves to explore new cities, drink copious amounts of coffee, and find joy in the simple pleasures of life. She is currently working to publish her first book with her best friend Kaylin Koslosky as a way of spreading a much-needed message of love to her female peers.

29 Comments

  1. I myself do not know what a kiss feels like. I never really kissed anyone. So I can’t come to an answer to this. All I can say is that I agree if I wanted to kiss it would be with someone special to me.

    By Chris | 2 years ago Reply
  2. This is such a beautiful article- I made a vow at 13 that I would save my first kiss for my wedding day. I’m a freshman in college and have kept it thus far. Thanks for the encouragement!

    By Madysen | 2 years ago Reply
    • Thank you for the encouragement! My parents have been harping on me to just kiss a guy because “it’s no big deal and no one is going to wait that long to kiss you.” It has been so hard to remain strong with them telling me this. It is comforting to know that I’m not the only one who’s holding out their first kiss for their wedding day!

      By Liv | 2 years ago Reply
      • You two girls are my heroes! I wish I had the strength to even consider saving my first kiss for my wedding day. I blew that, though. I had my first kiss at 19, and I can proudly say it was well worth the wait. I was the only guy in my graduating class who had never kissed a girl, and boy did people like to mention it. It wasn’t easy, but when it finally happened, I was struck by how intimate that kiss was, and I’m so glad I waited for someone who meant a lot to me. It was her first kiss too, and I think that made it all the more special. But now I realize that the longer you wait for that first kiss, the better it will be. And I regret my decision. So please be strong, don’t give in, and allow me to live vicariously through you two!

        By Matt | 2 years ago Reply
  3. I couldn’t agree more, with every word! I am a big fan of your blog. Keep up the good work 🙂
    Sending love from Croatia :)))

    By Ana | 2 years ago Reply
    • Bogu hvala da ima Hrvatica koje tako razmisljaju, Btb 😉

      By Ivan | 2 years ago Reply
  4. This is awesome! My fiancee and I dated two years before sharing our first kiss, which made it even more special. I’m glad our parents warned us about how special simple kiss could be 🙂

    By Megan | 2 years ago Reply
  5. I’m a freshman in college, and I have never been kissed. I was actually thinking about that fact moments before coming across this article on Facebook. God wanted me to read this and know that I am doing the right thing, and that there isn’t anything wrong with me for not getting my first kiss out of the way. Maybe when my first kiss does happen, it will be with my future husband. That would be the most romantic thing.

    By Elisabeth | 2 years ago Reply
  6. This is literally what I have been trying to say for a while now, so thank you so much for writing this and saying what I’ve been thinking!

    By Katie | 2 years ago Reply
  7. Thank you so much for this beautiful article, Megan! I am saving my first kiss for my wedding day. 🙂

    By Theresa | 2 years ago Reply
    • Awww me too! Just today I made that promise! :3 😀

      By Cari | 2 years ago Reply
  8. It happened exactly the same with me about the first kiss: “I realized that to the boy that kissed me, I was nothing but a body”. It was my first dating with the guy who became also my first boyfriend after . We were starting an interesting friendship, and I was hopeful that he could be “the one” that I’ve been waiting for so long, as he was a nice guy, and also “catholic”. So, after about one month of friendship, he asked me to go out. I really had in my mind that he would act with chivalry, I dreamed that he could act maybe a little somehow as Jason did with Crystalina in their first date, I dreamed that he would not kiss me at least in our first date, but, sadly, he came and kissed me, and I got really surprised with such act…We even still did not know each other very well, I really wasn’t expecting a kiss on first date… really. And I could notice, it was so artificial, he created a good situation just to get the chance to kiss me… it wasn’t a spontaneous act of affection, we even had not at least a strong friendship. So, then, I got home really disappointed with this first kiss. I had no feeling during that kiss, I had no affection for him in that moment, so, I felt used. And the worse thing was that I thought that at least he would ask me to become officialy his girlfriend at that day… who kiss a girl that isn’t a girlfriend?? specially for a catholic guy, this is so bad… It passed lot of weeks and I was always expecting to became officially his girlfriend, as he never mentioned nothing about that but kept asking me to go out. So, I decided to ask him If he had serious intentions in our relationship, he gave me lot of excuses, but, at the end he came to me with the decision of turn our relationship official. You can Imagine that at least he came to ask my father’s permission… but no!! He didn’t! I had to explain him that it was important to be done… You can see, I had a perfect plan, a perfect dream for my first kiss, that should be, of course, with my first boyfriend, and he was supposed to be like the guy who I always asked to be in my prayers: a good guy, good catholic, and of course, I dreamed also that if it was the right one, that we would get married. It had been my whole life planing to live the perfect love… So why didn’t I stoped meeting that bad guy in the first date? I still ask myself why… Obviously it was a bad relationship, and in a few months I decided to break up with him… I tryed so much to turn him in a person that he wasn’t. He didn’t care about having my companionship, instead, he prefered being with his friends, and never invited me to meet them together, he didn’t respect my body (I was always trying to stop him touching me with bad intentions, and explaining that it wasn’t right), I was always trying to explain him to learn more about the church (at least he learned to pray the rosary and gone to confession for the second time in his life…) but he absolutely wasn’t the one, and was never becoming “the one” by my teachings…I could had noticed it since our first dating…Girls, here I let you my advice: don’t get your expectations down because of getting tired for waiting a good man. Because If you do the same I did, sooner or later you will get hurt with Mr. wrong, and it will be worse if you only notice it in marriage… so If you notice that you’re getting tired to turn a guy in a good one, please: stop it! Don’t waste your time! You can keep helping him with your prayers, but not as his girlfriend… be sure: somewhere the “right one” (I mean a good guy, I don’t really mean someone created specially for being your husband, ok?) is there alone…also expecting for a good girl. So, keep praying, and keep having good friendships! 😉

    By Gabe | 2 years ago Reply
  9. Once again Megan….outta the park!

    By Jeanine | 2 years ago Reply
  10. So true! And so important for all women to know…they are worth saving their presious kisses for the one willing to climb to heaven with them!

    By Maria Cristina | 2 years ago Reply
  11. What a timely article to read about! Its worth sharing to everyone who loves to kiss

    By Gillian | 2 years ago Reply
  12. This! THIS! OMG! Today while I was praying I made a promise and this article just made my heart burst with joy! Waiting for that kiss is soooo worth it! :’) Thanks!

    By Cari | 2 years ago Reply
  13. My first kiss was when my husband kissed me on our wedding day. I remember asking a married friend before the wedding, “What do I do with my hands?” 🙂
    It was the sweetest most heartfelt kiss, and we’ve been kissing like crazy ever since. Purity should be a delight not a legalistic battle. All our firsts were so special!

    By Laura | 2 years ago Reply
  14. Absolutely beautiful!!!!

    By Shannon | 2 years ago Reply
  15. What about when your first kiss is forcebly stolen from you by a member of the same sex?

    By Ren | 2 years ago Reply
    • I’m am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you, Ren. That must have been such a painful experience. Understand that it is not your fault and that you are not a dirty or shamed person for this. That kiss was stolen from you, and the person that you are waiting for will understand that you did not willingly do this. You still have a first kiss for someone of the opposite sex, and you can save this one. Please tell a trusted adult about this so that you can receive any emotional help you might need. Also, you don’t want this person to do this again to someone else.
      For anyone who has given their kisses away: it is never too late to start saving them.

      By Liv | 2 years ago Reply
  16. I wish i had this growing up..& all the articles i read on this blog..sigh…

    By vivien | 2 years ago Reply
  17. I’m already in my late 20’s and I’m still waiting for my first kiss. It could’ve happened already but I have always wanted it to be something special and not just something I do with anyone. It never felt right so I let them know I wasn’t feeling it yet. Hopefully all the waiting will be worth it if I ever find the right kind of guy! A cool article, to be sure.

    By Chelsea | 2 years ago Reply
  18. You’re absolutely right, I couldn’t agree more. Unfortunately many of us fail to see what is nearly right in front of us. And it’s what makes blogs like this all the more important. Thank you for making a great contribution.

    By Kurtis | 2 years ago Reply
  19. I wasn’t at all prepared for what she was about to ask of me..
    …this promise to Mary, and to God, that she would not kiss another man until she was standing with him before the altar on her wedding day. And then she said. “If you want to be with me, then you have to take on that promise too.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9sS-gmwhXM

    By Joseph | 2 years ago Reply
  20. You’re setting girls up to be disappointed. You’re setting yet another judgemental barrier in the way of their lives. Yet another way to become wrong and dirty and broken. It’s sick, frankly.

    The pressure to remain in bad relationships because they were your FIRST(!!!!!) and therefore the only worthy one ever is huge. It prevents people from doing what’s actually right for them.

    It puts emphasis on the form of the relationship and not anything else.

    Also, where are you drawing the line now? Yesterday, sex. Today a kiss. Tomorrow, a woman should never feel the sacred touch of a man’s hand on her skin until they’re married. In fact, she shouldn’t even be seen by him until the wedding night because the holy shape of her body under loose robes should be reserved for THE ONE. what if he knows that other men have seen some sort of thing about her that should be HIS?

    By Restricting | 2 years ago Reply
    • Its not that these things are requirements, but enchancements. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now and we havent been physical at all, not because our parents or our religon told us not to, but because we had a mutual respect for each other. I held her hand for the first time last week, and it was… magical. The thought of being close enough to a person to be able to enjoy non sexual touches was elating and made me all the more infatuated with her. Thats the thing about chastity, Both sides understand that everything will be better with their spouse, so they freely choose to love that spouse with everything they have by saving everything they have for them. If you have made mistakes in the past, they will still love you for everything that you have saved for them. Its not about rules, its about knowing what you want out of your relationships and what you want to give in your relationships. God bless!

      By William | 2 years ago Reply
  21. I had my first kiss and first bboyfriend the summer of my second year in college. I remember I had many opportunities to make out with guys but chose instead to wait for a special first kiss. I do not regret waiting. I do admit though that i did feel a little jealous when i heard other girls my age talk about making out. However, now I see that everything in life has it’s perfect timing– sometimes the problem is our lack of trust in God. Anyway, if you havent had your first kiss, nothing is wrong with you. You are beautiful and you are loved and you are God’s precious daughter. Don’t settle for less. <3

    By Tania | 2 years ago Reply
  22. My parents never really gave a reason for me not having my first kiss and once i had had it they just said that i was kissing anyone and everyone which was untrue. Parents should really explain to their children and warn them, but if they make a mistake not to bug them about it for too long.

    By Uninformed | 2 years ago Reply
  23. I’m 21, never had a boyfriend and never been kissed. I always tell myself that I will give my first kiss to the person whom I will marry. I guess God has the perfect plan. 🙂 Thank you for the blog! Now I know that I should keep this prayer of mine.

    By Che | 2 years ago Reply

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