How to be Happily Single

Lately I’ve just been so happy. Happier than I think I’ve ever been. I’m single, and I’m happy. Two words that I thought would never go together. And it is amazing. It’s like I’m finally learning who I am instead of wasting time trying to become who someone else (other than God) might like me to be. It’s like I’m finally free—free from the bondage of wanting something so bad that I couldn’t let go even though I knew that holding on was causing me pain. I finally feel like I’m on the right path; the path where I step out into the murky water, relying on God to lead me to shore.

I never understood before how I could be happy and be single at the same time, but I finally figured it out. Although my relationship status is “single,” I cannot think of a time in my life when I have ever been completely alone. How can I possibly claim to be single when I have a loving family, faithful friends, and God who are always there for me? Being happy while being single doesn’t mean that you are happy that you haven’t found “the one.” Being happy while being single means being happy as you discover who you are and as you become the person you want to be for your future spouse. It’s about being happy that you have not settled for less than what you deserve and joyfully trusting that God is taking care of you and has a plan for you.

My life isn’t perfect—it never will be. I still have things to work through, things to pray about, and I still have some dreams to say goodbye to. Even now, I have nights where I feel an emptiness inside, like I’m still waiting for a missing a piece of me to come along and complete me. But I’m happy anyway. And that’s the greatest part. It’s more than some temporary happiness. It’s joy in my soul, laughter caught in my throat, and a smile waiting to split across my face. I wish everyone could feel this way. It’s a peace that tells me not to worry because my future is in God’s hands.

It’s not that I don’t think about men, or marriage, or having kids anymore—it’s just that I’m finally starting to understand that everything is going to work out. I want to get married and have babies more than anything (and maybe anyone) in the world, but if it is meant to be, it will happen. Maybe it will not be for another ten years, but that doesn’t mean that my life is on hold until then. It means that I have ten more years to prepare myself in order to be the best wife and mother I can be. It means ten more years of loving God and finding new ways to love Him.

In order for me to be happy with a husband and for a man to be happy with me, I need to first know how to be happy without him. What if he were to die? What if the “spark” started to die? What if he hurt me or angered me and needed my forgiveness? If he were my (original) source of happiness and love, disaster would be likely to follow. But I’m finally accepting what I’ve always known in my heart—God is the source of love. I’m finally starting to understand this truth.

The more time I spend with God and the more I learn about Him, the more I fall in love with Him. I am finally understanding that having a close relationship with God is the best foundation for starting a marriage. My heart is for God. If a man wants it, he can find it through Him. He will win my heart through loving God. And that’s the way it should be.

My hope for all of you who are single is that you too may experience this peace and joy that I have discovered through loving God and trusting Him.

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Veronica.Veronica Dannemiller is a Psychology major who plans to become a counselor for adolescents who need a little extra love. She dreams of one day opening her own counseling clinic, where she can bring color to the worlds of teens and children who are stuck seeing the world in black and white. In her free time, she writes books (that she neglects to finish), skim-reads for the good parts of novels, and tries to teach her dog that biting is bad. Her blog can be read at IFIBEME.

10 Comments

  1. ‘Hey Veronica very well said, I like the part especially when you said,”God is Love, and that’s it”, The more time I spend with God the more I fall in love with him. “My heart is for God, if a woman wants it, he can find it through God”. Of course I changed a word or two to fit me, but very well said I will use it to help myself and my Confirmation students who are struggling.

    By Ryan | 1 year ago Reply
    • Totally agree

      By Judith | 1 year ago Reply
  2. Beautiful! I have been on a similar journey and it is tough, but beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

    By Rachel | 1 year ago Reply
  3. Thank you Veronica for sharing this lovely message. It has touched me dearly, and I know God has great plans for you and everyone. God provides strength, especially those who are tempted to sin. It’s just wonderful to reflect how we get to know God and start to love him even more and serve him. Just love it. It’s okay to be single, married or have a vocation in the religious life, God has a plan. Praise the Lord. Thank you again! God Bless. 🙂 <3

    By Jocelyn | 1 year ago Reply
  4. Good article.Even tho most of us Catholic single folks already know what’s we ‘re supposed to do (seeking the kingdom of God first) it’s easy to get caught into those “when am I gettin married?,God,where’s my future spouse?” And such and such.so it’s good to be reminded from times to times .I was just reading the bible and one of the mediating words was about the Gospel where Peter went to sit by the fire to warm up with Jesus crucifiers and stuff before he denied Jesus.There’s sth that touched me.They said “Peter went to warm up because he was cold at that time.why was he cold?he was away from God during those times and seeking warmth somewhere else”.that’s stuck with me.when we’re away from God,we seek that warmth elsewhere,sad part it can’t really be found away from Him. Am not sayin it’s bad for us single people to seek a relationship or such.what I am sayin is just don’t seek that warmth in a relationship.make sure you have that godly warmth before u seek a relationship and a future SO will only come to share it ,not to provide it.Because let be honest…none NEEDS a husband/wife.God already made you wonderfully, beautifully and wholly.with or without a partner,you will still be that in the eyes of Anna the Father.But you might WANT (very different from NEED) a relationship.and that’s not a bad thing at all.I know I want one too ,in God’s perfect timing,because His ways are perfect.My prayers are with you all singles who want to continue building the kingdom with partner by your side.I recommend you pray the novenas of St.Anne and St .Raphael.These two are known to be matchmaker saints!
    God bless you!
    If you ‘ve read all this short novena, you ‘re a champ!

    By Rose | 1 year ago Reply
    • And oh I meant “Abba ,The Father” and not “Anna”.Don’t you just love autocorrect?

      By Rose | 1 year ago Reply
  5. You made me realize a lot of things. Thank you

    By Marie | 1 year ago Reply
  6. It really touches my whole being.. that what my experience when I was still single…happy to read it

    By remy | 1 year ago Reply
  7. I love what you have written and single or married, we all need God in our life because “God is Love”
    And without that, we have nothing.

    By Pauline | 1 year ago Reply
  8. Everything is going to work out! You have that Grace about you that many people strive for and need, you don’t need relationships 🙂 The only relationship that matters is the one with God. Sounds like you are living life the way God intended us too! Keep up the positivity and Grace of life!

    By LWilliams | 1 year ago Reply

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