Megan Finegan

February 14, 2017 By Megan Finegan

Happy National Singles Awareness Day!

I can be a bit sassy with God. Like, “Hey Big Man I know you have a plan and I should probably be patient but if you could just send me a nice, tall, Catholic man right about now that would be great. I’m waiting…”

My favorite thing with anytime I sass Him is He tends to deliver me a proper answer. For instance, because Valentine’s Day was fast approaching, I told God this past Sunday Mass would be a prime time to deliver on this perfect guy I would like to pop out of nowhere now. Then, when I least expected it going through the door of the chapel I found myself eye to eye with a well dressed, blue-eyed, blonde haired, very tall guy my age passing through the door behind me. This handsome stranger thanked me for not letting the door slam in his face so, naturally, I darted away like I was on fire without saying a word. I had a deer-in-the-headlights, attractive-male-RUN kind of reaction. Whoops.

Nice one God, thanks for reminding me that You are more than capable of giving me exactly what I ask for – but more importantly, You want to give me what I need.

Single and ready to mingle? Maybe not yet. Single and ready for a pringle? Heck yes if it’s gluten free. Single and ready to be socially awkward around anyone I find attractive? Always. Literally, always.

I know I’m not ready for a relationship right now. I still need some time with just God and I to heal some deep wounds from my past. But today, on National Single’s Awareness Day (or Valentine’s Day, call it what you want) I can’t help but be a little jealous of all my friends in relationships right now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m unbelievably happy for my friends – they’ve been patient and prayerful, and found amazing guys who treat them so well. But I’m not exaggerating when I say all of my close girl friends are in a flirtation-ship, serious relationship, or married. While they are discussing their futures as couple’s, I am over here wondering how many points away I am from a free latte (FYI I’m really close – it’s pretty thrilling).

This is my first Valentine’s truly single in a while. My last relationship left me broken. This time spent on my own has been so valuable to me to learn how to heal and know what I truly need out of a relationship. Since giving my last relationship to God, He’s been able to blow me away with the plans He’s unfolding for me. I’ve never been so happy or joyful in my life. Honestly, as I’m writing this I’m once again wondering how I could possibly ever doubt that He will lead me to the right man in the right time.

If you’re single this Valentine’s too, for whatever reason (I’m shocked too, you beautiful person), I hope you make the most of it and maybe give some of these a try:

Spend some time reflecting on your past relationships, if any, and why they ended. Most likely, those reasons are exactly what you will be looking to avoid the next time around so it’s good to identify them.

Make a list of what you are looking for in your next relationship – not just tall, tan, and toned – what should his heart look like? How do you want to be pursued? What type of person will compliment you and help you strive to be a better person?

Finally, make a commitment to pursue God in the meantime. No date? No problem – Jesus would love that quality time with you. Mass, adoration, and journaling are all great ways to grow in your faith and as a person. I love the saying, “Dance with God and at the right time, He will let the right man for you cut in”. You deserve nothing but the absolute best and I am more than confident that God has plans for you even greater than you could possibly imagine.

I’m single and ready to wait for God’s timing. What about you? Happy National Single’s Awareness Day – I hope today reminds you of how blessed you are in whatever stage of life you’re in. Never forget, you are so very loved! xoxo Megan

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Megan Finegan recently graduated Benedictine College with majors in psychology and criminology and a minor in sociology. She currently resides in her favorite place in the world, Colorado, and enjoys her career as a paralegal for a small firm in Denver. Megan loves to explore new cities, drink copious amounts of coffee, and find joy in the simple pleasures of life. She is coauthor of Daughter of the King: Wait, Where’s My Crown?! and cofounder of www.restoreyourcrown.com with her best friend, Kaylin Koslosky.

December 7, 2015 By Megan Finegan

It’s Not Love’s Job to Make You Happy

He makes me happy.
She makes me a better person.
I can’t imagine life without them.

What about the day that he stops making you happy? At some point he’s going to irritate you.

She might make you feel like a terrible person down the road. Are you strong enough to be a better person on your own?

You might have to live life without them. We never know how much time we have left in this world.

Knowing all that and seeing the uncertainty life has to offer, are they still the one you choose to love?

We live in a broken society where commitment is our greatest fear and we always have an exit strategy. Being happy is thought to be the greatest goal in life and if something or someone doesn’t make us happy, then we should move along and try to find happiness elsewhere.

No wonder divorce rates are so high.

I come from a broken home, as do statistically about half of you reading. My parents divorced when I was nine and I struggled to understand what love was growing up. Don’t get me wrong, I have the most loving parents in the world and I know they would do just about anything for me. However, when it came time for me to date or be in a relationship with someone, I couldn’t quite grasp the concept.

I wondered, how does someone tie themselves down to another person… forever?? I can’t even pick a favorite color let alone a husband!

While witnessing the marriage of family friends this summer, my favorite priest shared in his homily that “We are not responsible for making each other happy; only to love each other.”

So what is real love, and why are we so afraid of it?

Real love is vulnerable. It is putting another’s wants, needs and desires before our own. Real love is sacrificial.

There is no better example of true sacrifice than the cross. It is only in seeing and knowing the love of a God that would freely offer his only Son, just for you, that we can begin to understand the depth and beauty of true sacrificial love.

I pray that no matter the background you come from or the pain you’ve experienced, that you find what true love is in a relationship with God.

I pray that you learn to love yourself and then find that you’ve fallen in love with another on the journey.

I pray that in finding that love you also find the courage to be vulnerable and make sacrifices. Those sacrifices may be denying physical desires until you can make a true gift of self to each other in the sacrament of marriage. It might mean a higher cost of living while you live separately from your significant other until they are your spouse. It might be in making the commitment to love each other forever, even when they are acting impossible to love.

I pray that you can love another’s brokenness and see the beauty of being known and loved the way you are intended to be.

Saint John Paul II said, “Genuine love is demanding, but it’s beauty lies precisely in the demands that it makes.” Are you ready to answer to these demands?
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Megan Finegan recently graduated from Benedictine College with a double major in Psychology and Criminology and a minor in Sociology. She is passionate about seeking to prevent injustice and help those victimized by it. As a 911 Dispatcher, she is able to make a career out of her passion to live in service to others. She loves to explore new cities, drink copious amounts of coffee, and find joy in the simple pleasures of life. She is currently working to publish her first book with her best friend Kaylin Koslosky as a way of spreading a much-needed message of love to her female peers.

October 19, 2015 By Megan Finegan

I Wish I Knew The Value Of A Kiss

Your first kiss: Whether it was absolutely magical or horribly awkward and embarrassing, it’s a moment that stays with you forever. I remember those late night sleepover talks with my girlfriends growing up, discussing and wondering what it would be like when it finally happened. What do you do with your head or your hands? How do you breathe with some guy’s face on yours? What if I’m bad at it?? Even worse, how do you know if you’re bad at it?!

I wanted my first kiss to be the most romantic moment of my life, like in all the movies. It would be so perfect my foot would just “pop” like in The Princess Diaries. The guy would be absolutely in love with me and I would re-tell how great it was forever.

If only I had held out for my prince charming to show up and sweep me off my feet. I grew impatient as high school went on and the guys were just plain immature. I became embarrassed that I hadn’t just gotten that first kiss “over with,” like everyone else in the world (or so it seemed).

My first kiss was nothing magical, but it was something I will remember forever. It was the moment I realized that to the boy that kissed me, I was nothing but a body. I felt dirty and used. To make these feelings go away, I kissed as many frogs as I could to show that I was in control and not them.

I wish I had known then what I know now. A kiss is not something to get “over with.” It isn’t to be handed out like a party favor to the cutest guy or girl who pays attention to you when you go out. It isn’t something that doesn’t matter and can be given to just anyone.

I wish I had known the value of a kiss.

A kiss is a symbol of love, affection, and giving part of yourself to another.

When I get a kiss from my beautiful little niece, I am overwhelmed with how much I love and want to protect this tiny little girl. When I kiss a friend in need of comfort on the forehead I’m showing them that I care and I’m there for them. When I kiss the man I love, I’m giving him a sign of affection, admiration, and attraction.

I spent years battling or flat out ignoring this truth. I honestly couldn’t tell you the number of guys that I kissed—it didn’t matter to me at the time. But once I found the man who showed me how treasured a kiss should be, I wished more than anything I could go back.

The bible says, “Greet one another with a holy kiss” (Romans 16:16). There is nothing wrong with kissing; it’s our human frailty that brings sin into the mix. I’m one of kissing’s biggest fans, but we all know when kissing goes from innocent and sweet to the opposite! Recognizing where you need to draw the line and more importantly sticking to it even when it’s difficult, makes you stronger, leads you in a life of purity, and guards your heart.

One of my best friends is a beautiful young college woman still waiting for that first kiss. Despite anyone else’s mocking that she hasn’t “gotten it over with yet” at her age, she has held strong. Sure, any day of the week any guy would jump at the chance to kiss her. But she knows her worth. She knows she deserves nothing but the best and for that I applaud her. I wish I had been so strong.

Don’t fall prey to society’s lies and give your kisses away to someone who doesn’t know your worth. Just because you’ve failed in the past or slipped up, doesn’t mean you can’t have another chance to do better and strive for a good and virtuous life. Chastity requires self-control, knowledge of self worth, and the courage to live out the truth. Kissing is a beautiful sign of your affection. Who deserves this part of your soul?

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Megan Finegan recently graduated from Benedictine College with a double major in Psychology and Criminology and a minor in Sociology. She is passionate about seeking to prevent injustice and help those victimized by it. As a 911 Dispatcher, she is able to make a career out of her passion to live in service to others. She loves to explore new cities, drink copious amounts of coffee, and find joy in the simple pleasures of life. She is currently working to publish her first book with her best friend Kaylin Koslosky as a way of spreading a much-needed message of love to her female peers.

July 31, 2015 By Megan Finegan

Hey Future Husband, I’m A Sinner. How Are You?

“Look at all these sinners.” My friend sent me that text earlier today as I stood in line for confession, attached was a picture he took of me standing in the line across from him waiting to enter the confessional. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the text. It’s true, I am a terrible sinner—we all are.

Plot twist: being a good Christian is really, really hard—especially when it comes to chastity.

Have you ever written a letter to your future spouse? Maybe you were instructed to on a retreat or in a class, randomly got the urge to write as you wait to find out who he or she is, or you’ve heard of people doing so but think it’s weird. Well, for all of those reasons and more, last week I came across a smattering of old letters to my future someone.

The first was from a girls retreat, where I was told to write to my future husband about how I’m “saving” myself for him. I actually wrote that I don’t get what the big deal is, it’s not like it’s going to be hard to stay a virgin—but I guess I’m doing it for you and stuff so I hope you are too, or this is really awkward.

I couldn’t help but laugh at how naive I was. Staying pure as we are called to before marriage is anything but easy. In fact, meeting a virgin who intends to stay a virgin until marriage seems so very rare in our day and age.

I came across another letter, from a few years later in high school where I wrote something along the lines of: Okay, this is harder than I thought. I’m trying, but it’s not going so well. I hope you’re praying for me too.

And another: Dear future husband, I’m sorry I’m not as pure as I should be. I’m not the woman you deserve. I wish I could go back.

But there’s no going back. Once you begin pushing back the boundaries of purity, there’s always a reason to justify going just a little bit further until it’s too late. And don’t fool yourself like I’ve tried to: Being virgin-ish is not chastity at all.

I still want what I wanted as an awkward innocent middle school girl: I want to save myself for marriage. However, now I know that this is no easy task. Society thinks I’m crazy; Guys may think I’m a tease or a prude; Other girls may think I’ll never keep a guy that way; and I’m sure I’ll continue to be tempted by lust, desire, and misguided attraction.

I am weak. I give into temptations. I constantly fail to do good and choose to do bad.

But here’s the thing: We have a God who loves us anyway despite our sins and failings. No matter what mistakes may be in our past, He is here now, waiting to forgive us and help us to move forward to a better life in Him.

Each day we are offered the choice to try harder, fight temptations, and be better people in Christ. I continue the challenge of a chaste life, not just for me, but for my future spouse.

So to my dear future husband, this sinner is waiting and praying for you. I hope you are too

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Megan Finegan recently graduated from Benedictine College with a double major in Psychology and Criminology. She graduated after studying abroad in Florence, Italy and being a Gregorian Fellows scholar. She loves shopping and the craze of cities, and is passionate about seeking to prevent injustice and help those victimized by it. She is currently working to publish her first book with her best friend Kaylin Koslosky as a way of spreading a much-needed message of love to her female peers.

July 16, 2015 By Megan Finegan

Is This Too Short?

Is this too short?

I’ve been asking myself this question since I tried on my new dress in the store. It’s really cute, figure flattering, a new style, and exactly what I’ve been looking for. It seemed like a good enough length since it’s longer than most dresses. It could use a few more inches of fabric but it’s close enough. Besides, it has a high neckline so that evens it out on the modesty scale, right?

It’s all too easy to justify a cute new outfit. “Better than most,” though, is that really what I’m going for? I can’t help but think that’s not a good reason to buy a dress. Yes, it’s cute and I really like it, but every time I try it on I can’t get myself to commit to keeping it by ripping off the tags.

Would I want another woman to wear this in front of my (future) husband? No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t appreciate it if another woman was in front of my husband or boyfriend for that matter in a dress that seems “modest enough” until they bend over or sit down and the fabric might no longer cover what should be covered. So since I don’t want this from another woman, I need to show the same respect to them.

So, is it too short? The very fact that I’m asking myself this question means I already know the answer. Yes, my dress is too short.

Just being “better than most” does not make it modest. Modesty is not a competition. It’s also not easy. What would be easy would be to wear the dress, fit in with the trends, and pretend it’s long enough. Here’s the thing though: In making the extra effort to dress modestly through raising my standards in the way I dress, I have more freedom.

I’m not going to have to constantly check or readjust what I’m wearing. I’ll be free of all these worries because I’m going to find a dress I can throw on, know I look fabulous, and am completely comfortable in without showing too much skin. There aren’t going to be nagging questions in the back of my mind.

I’m going to return it and try again. Because there’s no reason I should need to question if what I’m wearing is too short.